Friday, June 8, 2012

Idolatry

Note: This post is in NO WAY mocking Pres. Monson. This is mocking those who insist on putting our current leaders upon a pedestal that not even Christ, Himself was willing to stand on while He lived on earth. Christ never sought the chief seats nor did he seek adulation. The “honor” toward our leaders borders on idolatry, if it is not actual idolatry.

And this post is firmly tongue-in-cheek - a parody of what I read.
And for you historical sticklers out there, I am fully aware that these paragraphs (other than the original) are not historically accurate.

I came across this on a blog whose author is unknown:
A gala event is planned for August to celebrate the 85th birthday of President Thomas S. Monson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The masters of ceremonies duties for the celebration, called "Golden Days: A Celebration of Life," will be shared by former San Francisco 49ers quarterback and Hall-of-Famer Steve Young and former network news anchor and author Jane Clayson Johnson. The event will feature Broadway and other musical selections performed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Orchestra at Temple Square and notable guest artists, who have not yet been announced. Choir President Mac Christensen said, "I happen to know the songs being performed will delight President Monson."

The evening will also include a nostalgic look back at Pres. Monson's life, including his childhood, marriage, time in the Navy during World War II, and decades of service. He was called as a bishop of a congregation at age 22 and has served for nearly a half century as a general authority of the church.

A news release from Mormon Newsroom quotes Young as saying, "This celebration is a great way to let (Pres. Monson) know how much he is loved and appreciated. It's a privilege to play a small part in that recognition."

How about changing the notice a little?

A gala event is planned for September to celebrate the 80th birthday of Annas of The Church of Moses of Yhwh. The master of ceremonies for the celebration (called "Length of Days: A Celebration of My Life") will be Annas' son-in-law and high priest, Caiaphas. The event will feature musical selections from Roman epic poems from the last 50 years. The poems and music have not been announced yet, but Tiberius Judas happens to know that the performance will delight Annas.

The evening will also include a nostalgic look back at Priest Annas' life, including his childhood, marriage, and time in the service at the temple. He has served for nearly a half century as high priest of the church, and has been a champion for truth and casting out unrighteous zealots.

A news release from the Jerusalem Times quotes Tiberius Judas as saying, "This celebration is a great way to let Annas know how much he is loved and appreciated. It's a privilege to play a small part in that recognition."

Or

A gala event is planned for December to celebrate the 45th birthday of President Joseph Smith Jr. of The Church of the Latter-day Saints. The masters of ceremonies for this event (called "Restoration Days: A Celebration)" will be shared by Orson Pratt and Sidney Rigdon. It is rumored that Charles Dickens and Mark Twain will make a surprise appearance. The event will feature Broadway and other musical selections performed by the Pioneer Playhouse. Brigham Young said, “I know that the songs will delight Brother Joseph.”

The evening will also include a nostalgic look back at Brother Joseph's life, including his childhood, marriage, translation of the Book of Mormon, and decades of service. He was called as a prophet of the church at age 24 and has served for nearly a quarter century as a general authority of the church.

A news release from Deseret Newsroom quotes Young as saying, "This celebration is a great way to let Brother Joseph know how much he is loved and appreciated. It's a privilege to play a small part in that recognition."

Or

A gala event is planned for March to celebrate the 90th birthday of President Nephi Son of Lehi of The Church of Yhwh of Current-day Saints. The masters of ceremonies duties for the celebration, called "Gold and Brass Days: A Celebration of Life," will be shared by former Assistant of Riches and Records in Jerusalem Zoram and former network news proclaimer Sam the Elder. The event will feature local talent. Choir President Amon said, "I happen to know the songs being performed will delight President Nephi."

The evening will also include a nostalgic look back at Nephi's life, including his stormy youth, marriage, and time in the service of the Lord. He was called as a ruler over his brothers at age 16 and has served for nearly three-quarters century as a general authority of the church.

A news release from the Land of Nephi quotes Amon as saying, "This celebration is a great way to let Nephi know how much he is loved and appreciated. It's a privilege to play a small part in that recognition."

Or

A gala event is planned for Winter Solstice to celebrate the 65th birthday of Alma the Younger of The Church of Christ. The masters of ceremonies duties for the celebration, called "Days of Peace and Rest: A Celebration of Life," will be shared by former military officer General Moroni and former mayor of the Ammonites Ammon the Fearless. The event will feature dances and other musical selections performed by the Church of Christ Choir and notable guest artists, who have not yet been announced. Choir President Moronihah said, "I happen to know the songs being performed will delight President Alma.

The evening will also include a nostalgic look back at Alma the Younger's life, including his childhood, his warring against the true and living church, time in the mission field and decades of service. He repented of apostasy and persecuting the Church of God at age 22 and has served for many years as a general authority of the church.

A news release from Mormon Newsroom quotes Moronihah as saying, "This celebration is a great way to let Alma know how much he is loved and appreciated. It's a privilege to play a small part in that recognition."

Or

We regret that the gala event that was planned for April to celebrate the 34th birthday of Jesus of Nazareth, also known as Jesus of Galilee (also known as Joshua) will be canceled. The masters of ceremonies duties for the celebration, called "A Life of Miracles: A Celebration," was planned to be shared by former fishermen Peter and Andrew. The event would have featured musical selections performed by the Mary and Martha, and notable guest artists, who had not yet been announced. Choir President Palatius said, "I happen to know the songs being performed would have delighted Rabbi Joshua."

The evening would have also included a nostalgic look back at Joshua's life, including his miraculous conception and birth, childhood, marriage, and miraculous service to the people in the area of Israel. He was called as Rabbi at age 30 and has served for nearly four years as a voice from God outside the established hierarchy who, let's face it, hate him.

A news release from Joshua Fan News quotes Palatius as saying, "This celebration is a great way to let Joshua know how much he is loved and appreciated. It's a privilege to play a small part in that recognition."

As many have expressed shock and dismay at the cancellation, we feel compelled to explain the reason.

First, Jesus of Nazareth refused to be part of the celebration. He said, “Let not thy right hand know what thy left hand doeth.” He also said, “They who seek the chief seats and seek to be seen of men - verily, verily, I say unto you - they have their reward.” And, finally, he said, “Do good in secret and your Father who is in heaven shall reward you openly, but if you seek to do good before men, you have your reward.”

When pressed, he admitted there was also another reason. “For the son of man goeth up to Jerusalem to be crucified, and to rise the third day.” When we said, “Say what?” He replied, “You goons love the chief seats. You love the adoration and worship of the masses. But, guess what? That will lead you straight down to hell. I have a work to do and it has nothing to do with gaining the accolades and honors of men. Those who follow me will be hated by the world. No one will seek to sing their praises. Not one will have huge parties attended by famous personalities. Those who follow me shun the limelight and the praises of men. Those servants of mine who I send will preach repentance, baptism, and coming unto Christ. They will not spend their time bathing in the adoration and worship of mindless, slobbering masses of people who look to be dictated to in every thought.” We said, “We get it. We get it.” He said, “Good! Now I've got some work to do in Jerusalem. If you'll excuse me . . . .”

So, instead of celebrating Joshua, we will celebrate a man who was released from prison by the name of Barabbas. He has no problems being the honored person in this party. Oh, and Peter, Andrew, Mary, and Martha have backed out. We'll surprise you with who the entertainment is.

2 comments:

  1. Hmmmmmm..... This post makes me wonder what the Christ thinks of our Easter and Christmas celebrations.

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    Replies
    1. I never thought about that when I was writing this post. I wonder if He would prefer that we do what He says and forgo the pretense of honoring Him (and Santa and the Easter Bunny).

      Hollow honor will take us nowhere but down, in my opinion, when it comes to our Lord. It reminds me of what He told Joseph Smith: "They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."

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