Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Random Thoughts

 Restored post
Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson says, “Trapped emotions actually consist of well-defined energies that have a shape and form. Although they are not visible, they are very real.” He also compares the energy of thought to electricity. It is real, yet cannot be seen.

I have some thoughts about this idea that everything is ultimately energy. We are told that if we go deeply enough into our bodies, we eventually come to energy; that we are basically a bunch of nothing with nothing whirling around us. Well, technically, empty space with energy whirling around it and through it.

So, if our physical bodies ultimately consist of nothing but energy and our thoughts and emotions are the same thing, then - it seems to me - that nothing is incurable. If we can get our thoughts to contact those whirling energy winds, they might just listen to us. In fact, a lot of books and people are saying, nowadays, that that is exactly what they do. They listen to us.

The catch is, they listen to what we are really saying to them. So, if we say something we don’t believe or mean, they won’t listen. But, say some people, if you say something often enough, your whole self will begin to get the drift and work with you.

I have often thought of the scriptures where God/Jesus tell us to be one. Officially, we are taught that it means to be nice to each other: don’t fight, don’t gossip, don’t steal, don’t hit, don’t cause pain, don’t be mean - all of it applying to how we treat other people. I’m not denying that this is important, but I’m of the opinion that the base is deeper than that. One with our society, with our religious congregation, with our extended family, with our immediate family, with our spouses - great! I’m all for it.

BUT, I don’t think any of that is truly possible, from the “gut level” if each person involved is not one with him/herself. How can we be kind to others if we are torn apart by anger, guilt, fear? If we feel those things, something is not whole within us. We don’t have something we think we should have. We think we should be better than we are being. We know we have done something incongruent with our true selves. We are trying to live a lie; i.e., we have been taught that we should be what our souls are not (a doctor or lawyer or cheerleader when our inner self is an artist, a mother, or an interpreter) and we are trying to live by the choices others have made for us.

We need to be true to our own souls.

I was blessed. I had a mother who had no problem with her children being who they really were. The pressure came from society in general, and from the micro-societies I grew up in (cities/towns, schools, church, extended relatives). Also, life gave me some serious wounds, which also seems to separate people from who they really are. They create mental tricks to survive emotionally and sometimes physically.

So, then our energy selves become looped, warped, insane, tangled. Perhaps pieces are missing. How, then, are we to fix the mangled mess our lives can be/are by the time we are adults?

According to what I’ve studied, it is possible to be one with ourselves and each person is selling a different way to do it. “Ooh, me! Pick me! I’m the only expert and it’ll only cost you a hundred dollars an hour!” “Me! Me! Pick me! For only a thousand dollars (and sundry other items), you will also be an expert in this.” “I’ve figured it out! Buy my knowledge/products and you’ll be fixed!” “This came to me in a dream [or an insight], but don’t you try to gain your own insight. The invisible world have given this only to me and, for a price, I will share it with you.” Hm, what being said, “You can have anything in this world for money.”? Clue: It wasn’t God.

Of course, most of these “healers” are careful to give obeisance to the great god of healing, that idol most humans worship. If they didn’t include a disclaimer, the priests of the great god would take away their freedom and their belongings, oftentimes harshly.

Which brings me to some of these disclaimers written by natural healers. I love some of them. They say that the wicked priests demand this obeisance and they let you know that they are only writing the disclaimers because they are being forced to. It’s obvious that they don’t believe in the great god of healing. Dr. Robert Mendelsohn was the best anti-priest of this great god that I have come across.

By the way, the great god of healing isn’t really a god of healing but a god of disease and death.

So how do we find the truth? How do we find the path to physical and emotional healing? I think a big clue lies in the scriptures (Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price). In several places, it is pointed out that you get what you desire. If you desire what isn’t good for you, what isn’t “expedient” for you, it will “turn to your condemnation”. Why? Because, if you really want something badly enough, you’ll get it.

And what limits do the scriptures put on getting what you desire? None, that I can see. Jesus healed every person who came to him and believed he could do it, as far as we have a record. Moving mountains. Making the earth rotate backwards so the day is longer. Keeping armies at bay (even wiping them out at times). Food. Water. Clothing that doesn’t wear out, even after wearing them for forty years. Protection from wild animals. These are all physical things. What about non-physical?

How about devils being cast out? I, personally, think these were a mixture of literal devils, emotional wounds, living a lie, malnutrition, and even - at times - diseases such as epilepsy.

How about peace? Also, how could one work the mighty physical miracles if that person wasn’t one with himself?
So to be one, one must be one? Okay. How about desire? If you want something badly enough, you’ll get it. That is a theme I’ve seen over and over again. I wanted my kids and I got them. Unfortunately, the wounds inside myself, the splits and crevasses and boils, prevented me from getting anyone who respected me and truly loved me. In fact, he was a terror to live with and the next one was better in some aspects and worse in others.

But, if one’s desire is to be one with oneself, I think it can be done without spending thousands of dollars (a genuine no-win-situation for those whose inner selves prevent them from even having enough money to pay the rent or buy enough to eat). I desire to learn French. What has happened? At some sacrifice (and a layaway plan), I was able to get my first good French book many years ago. It was French for Latter day Saints. A few days ago, I transferred the cassettes to my computer. I also was able to get Power-Glide French, levels one and two, along with CD’s (if I don’t put an ‘ before the “s”, my program automatically un-capitalizes the “D” - so, even though it irritates me to do so, I put an apostrophe there. The function is helpful more often than it is irritating, so I don’t disable it. On the other hand, automatically capitalizing the first letter of what the program deems a sentence, I find extremely irritating, so I have disabled it.).

Just a few days ago, I found a free French book that was an updated version of what I had in a university. Unfortunately (at that college), there was a mixup about financial aid and I withdrew, not realizing until I did that the aid was still there (they just hadn’t bothered to tell me that they had transferred the aid from a loan to work-study, as I had requested: no acknowledgment whatsoever - perhaps, an example of bringing poverty into our lives, perhaps not). The book had two CD’s in it that went with the book. It doesn’t tell how to say everything in the book, but enough.
Plus, I have gotten free French textbooks with CD’s from another college (they were sent to them as a sample but they were no longer teaching French at that particular satellite).

So, I have plenty of French to practice from. And what stops me from practicing every day for a couple of hours? Well, there is less resistance now but, mainly, I feel lazy. I’m wasting my time. I’m not making money. Even during times I didn’t need to make money, I felt like I was lazy and wasting my time. Yet, if I was doing the exact same thing at a college or university, it would be socially acceptable.

You see, teaching yourself is lazy, unacceptable, wrong, taboo. But paying a company (colleges and universities are usually in it for the money - and the textbook publishers definitely are in it for the money; charging a hundred or a couple of hundred dollars for a book that cost about five to twenty dollars to make - at the extreme most); paying them is socially acceptable and look how diligent she is!! She isn’t staying home on her butt learning this stuff on her own, she’s going to school!!! Heck, people will even pay you for learning from a company, but not if you do it on your own. No scholarships for people who learn just as much or more on their own; no paying their living expenses.

We actually live in a strange world. It revolves around money and gimmee, gimmee, gimmee! Anything that can be done cheaper or for free is either looked down on, minimized, or outlawed. It’s crazy! It’s insane! Being home with your kids is taboo, but hiring someone to pretend they care about your kids as much as you do, is applauded because then you are doing something with your life! Women pretending to be men and doing what men “traditionally” [not!!] do is applauded, but women who want to do what women “traditionally” do (have babies, have them at home, breastfeed them, home/un school them, etc. are criticized, even punished at times).

A note about my [not!!] comment. Traditionally, men did not go out and work for a company. They didn’t own their own businesses, wherein they left the home and let mom do everything there. If you start with Adam and Eve, you’ll see that men and women were “in it” together. In primitive societies (which I doubt truly exist these days), men may go out and hunt. In some, both men and women garden. In others, one sex does one and one another. But they are both their for their children and they are both there to uplift each other.

This “leaving home to be gone all day every day” is neither male nor female tradition. It is divisive to the family, which is the most important organization on, under, in, and above this planet. It is more important than schools, banks, governments, “doctors”, and anything else we are taught to revere, obey, and fear. It should take precedence and the parents should have ultimate control over how to teach and care for their children. Only in sick societies such as our “civilized” nations are parents dangerous to their children (in this, I include religious practices all over the world that cut or mutilate their children, even if they aren’t “technically” considered “civilized”). Only in sick societies, is it considered dangerous to follow one’s natural instincts about carrying, birthing, rearing, healing, and teaching one’s young.

So, if what we truly believe brings to us what we want, brings to us great power, I suggest that each of us go deeply into our own souls. Find out what it is you truly want. Search for it with as much power as you have - not as much as you think you have or that you should have. Be gentle with yourself, but don’t give up. Don’t let the dichotomies and breaks in your soul trick you into believing that you have to follow the pain you’ve been taught you have to have.

It’s time for a revolution. By the way, Satan is a real person and he has, literally, a hell of a lot of “angels” at his service. In case you were not aware, they have an intense hatred and profound jealousy for us and get really excited and joyous whenever we are in pain or confusion. The greater the pain, the more they like it. The reason it’s unpopular to believe in him today is because he rules so much of our society. “I am no devil for there is none.”

Heck, if I tell you I don’t exist and you believe me, I can run rampant through your house, your family, your society and do anything I please. I can steal, plunder, rape, kill, and do anything I want. You won’t hold me accountable because you don’t think I’m really there.

On the positive side, God is real and so is Jesus. A lot of people feel obligated to pussyfoot around this issue even more than they do around Satan’s existence. I’m telling you that God is real. You can imagine him to look like anything you please. You can pretend you have power to change his gender (usually women who have been extremely hurt by evil men do this, because they cannot comprehend there is such a thing as a safe male), but the fact remains that he exists. No matter what you do, you cannot change that. You cannot change what he is, what his power is, nor what he has done, can do, and will do. You cannot shut his mouth and you cannot open it.

I guarantee that, one day, each of us will know without a shadow of a doubt that he is real and that he has been by us in our most distressing times. We will see what we have done to shut him out and what we have done to bring him in.
I would like to end with my very strong opinion that our lives are between us and God. Ultimately, we answer only to him. It is vital that we find out what is in our souls. It is vital to push beyond Satan’s tricks, the false teachings we may have received, and the false “feel-good” teachings we may have embraced to avoid facing, head-on, the pain this life has brought us. We can do it. We can.

Monday, August 9, 2010

We Live in a Time of Fear; How Can We Possibly Be Safe?

Restored post
Monday, August 9, 2010

In Sunday School, yesterday, we studied 2 Chronicles in the Old Testament and applied it to our day. (I will be leaving out the ellipses that show I have left out words. If you want to know all that was said, go to 2 Chronicles and begin reading from chapter 29, King James Version.)
Hezekiah said to the people, “Sanctify now yourselves and sanctify the house of the Lord and carry forth the filthiness out of the holy place, for our fathers have trespassed and done that which was evil in the eyes of the Lord our God and have forsaken him and have turned away their faces from the habitation of the Lord, and turned their backs.
Wherefore the wrath of the Lord was upon Judah and Jerusalem and he hath delivered them to trouble, to astonishment, and to hissing, as ye see with your eyes; for, lo, our fathers have fallen by the sword and our sons and our daughters and our wives are in captivity for this.
Now it is in mine heart to make a covenant with the Lord God of Israel, that his fierce wrath may turn away from us.”
They sent forth a decree that said, “Ye children of Israel, turn again unto the Lord God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel. And be not ye like your fathers, and like your brethren which trespassed against the Lord god of their fathers, who therefor gave them up to desolation, as ye see. Now be ye not stiffnecked as your fathers were, but yield yourselves unto the Lord, and enter into his sanctuary [the temple], and serve the Lord your God, that the fierceness of his wrath may turn away from you. For if ye turn again unto the Lord, your brethren and your children shall find compassion before them that lead them captive, so that they shall come again into this land; for the Lord you God is gracious and merciful, and will not turn away his face from you, if ye return unto him.”
The reaction was interesting. Some laughed them to scorn and mocked them, but some listened and obeyed the advice given. They came and they broke down the images and groves, everything that had to do with idol worship (I leave it to you to decide what, in your life, constitutes idol worship - most people become very angry if their “sacred cows” are attacked; so you find your own sacred cows; I’m not about to point them out to you.)
And thus did Hezekiah throughout all Judah and wrought that which was good and right and truth before the Lord his God and in every work that he began in the service of the house of God and in the law and in the commandments, to seek his God, he did it with all his heart, and prospered.
Then comes the test. Sennacherib invades Judah and besieges her cities. Hezekiah’s response was to tell his people, “Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed for the king of Assyria, nor for all the multitude that is with him, for there be more with us than with him. With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles.”
And the people rested (relied) on the words of Hezekiah.
But good ol’ (not!) Sennacherib sends his servants to try the type of thought control that has been happening in this country for years. In part, the people are told, “Hezekiah is persuading you to die in this siege by telling you that your God is going to deliver you. Don’t you know what I and my fathers have done to the people of other lands? Were their gods able to deliver those people from my hand? Noooo. If their gods couldn’t deliver them, why in the Sam Hill do you think your God is going to deliver you?” (Of course, Sennacherib would have only used the lower case G for Israel’s God, but do I think he deserves that respect, to copy him and put in lower cases for a person who really exists? No)
C’mon, guys, your God can’t deliver you. Hezekiah is feeding you a pipe dream. He’s deceiving you. Seriously, don’t believe him. No god of any nation has been able to deliver their people from me. I mean, look at my batting average, for Pete’s sake. A hundred out of a hundred. You can’t get better than perfect, believe me. I promise you, Hezekiah’s God doesn’t have any more power than anyone else’s. Make it easy on yourselves. Give up before you all starve to death. I mean, how can you be my slaves and pay tribute to me if you’re dead? Think about it. He’s feeding you a farce, a dangerous one, by the way.”
This guy even sends letters around, flyers, posters, sky-writing, whatever works. The radio is going and there he is. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my drift. He used all the media available at the time to get his point across.
The spoke in the Jews’ native tongue so that everyone could understand, and why? To scare the pants off them, to trouble them, to make them doubt. That’s how Satan works, you know. If we can be made afraid, anxiety-ridden, tense, doubtful, then we just might shut down and/or be easily coerced into doing what is most definitely not the right thing for us to do.
So what did Hezekiah and Isaiah do? They prayed, folks. Plain and simple. They cried to heaven, so this wasn’t just prayer #346; this was real, true, from-the-heart praying.
Then what happened? The Lord sent an angel that cut off the enemy. We aren’t told how. Could have been dysentery. Could have been anything. The point is, the Lord did it. He fought the battle. The people didn’t even have to come out from their walls. They weren’t really a match for these enemies, though I expect God could have strengthened them. But these people, these people who had destroyed their own idols and had worshiped faithfully in the Lord’s temples were delivered miraculously.
And old Sennacherib returned “with shame of face” to his own land. And what happened to him there? He went to the house of his god and his children (I presume “sons” or maybe even “grandsons”) killed him with a sword while he was there.
The Lord, the scripture says, “saved Hezekiah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem from the hand of Sennacherib the king of Assyria and from the hand of all others and guided them on every side.” And what did the children of Israel do? They were grateful; they humbled themselves.
In our class, this was likened unto us: if we cast away our idols from us and worship in God’s holy temples, God will give to us a very real protection. I don’t know if anyone has noticed yet (facetious, here) but we live in very frightening times. Our freedom is pretty much gone and what little is left is being eaten away. No matter how much we have voted or gotten involved in politics, our freedoms have been eaten away by “conspiring men”, hidden in a treaty here, a bill there, an executive order elsewhere, and so on.
We are in very real and physical danger - of starving, of being killed, of suffering from diseases and manmade catastrophes. We have been told that it is vital to attend the temples in these last days and I had my witness to the fact that it can help us in our struggles with temptation.
There's a man on one of the forums I frequent whose username is Mateo. He gave me permission to quote the following:
I realize that I must write a book on my experience of overcoming same-sex attraction. So many members and non-members are struggling with this. It is very disheartening.
I used the ARP program that the Church offers to overcome this addiction and others that have plagued me.
"Is anything too hard for the Lord?" I emphatically declare, no! If we are willing to lay our sins upon the altar, he will help us overcome them.
I am a living testimony of how the power of God can change a man's life.
I once had a friend of mine say to me, "Mateo, I wonder if you will teach others how to overcome same-sex attraction. Imagine if in the next life, someone were to say, I couldn't overcome it, it was too difficult. The Savior could very well turn to you and say, well my son Mateo did it. If he did it, so can you."
Temple attendance is vital in this fight against the adversary. I look forward to serving in the temple each Wednesday night!
Temple attendance can help us, can give us power in some very real ways.
One of the things Satan and his minions do is try to convince us we are not worthy of going to the temple when we are and, in fact, going often would help us overcome the things S/minions convince us can never be changed. Heck, he’ll put thoughts into our minds, then tell us, “Look what you’re thinking! Shame on you! You’re so evil! There’s no hope for you now. You might as well just give up.” And if we need help from a bishop or a stake president S/minions will tell us that they are our enemies, or that we can’t bear to have them know the truth about us/think badly of us. Sometimes, there are “bad” or uncompassionate leaders out there, but I think we need to trust God on this. I think he can lead us to the right people, if we need them to help us. At the same time S/minions will be trying to put hurtful people in our path, trying to convince the good people to say and do hurtful things often “for our own good”.
Trust God. That’s the bottom line. The atonement of Jesus Christ is very, very real and very, very powerful. That, I promise you. He’s there. He is always there.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

On the Idea of Success

So what makes a person a success? I, personally, would like to be successful in my own eyes. To do that, I first need to define what success is to me. I would think one of the things would be to wear clothes that exude self-confidence, as well as a hairstyle and body language that say the same.

What clothing would shout "loser" to the world? Underwear on the outside, pants hanging down to the crotch, holes in the clothing, stains. To me, successful clothing would be automatically pleasing to the eye. If I'm successful, I don't think my clothing needs to shout out "individuality! Look at me!" because I would be secure in myself. I would follow modest clothing styles because that would reflect what I consider tasteful.

My thoughts, words, and actions would also need to reflect my perception of what success is. I would speak grammatically correct, a thing I have long gotten out of the habit of because most of those around me do not do it. Yet, my friends Jeremy and Eraina speak how I consider successful people to speak, so drawing on those memories would help. How they managed to use the words they use in light of the ill grammar that surrounds them is a wonder to me.

Slow to anger, controlling one's tongue, speaking plainly and without attack, not having a "chip on one's shoulder" - these are marks of someone I would highly respect, someone I would want to hang around, someone I would easily have a crush on because these are the behaviors of the immensely powerful and power is attracting. Perhaps that is one reason I have liked the idea of Superman throughout my life. Here was a man who was immensely powerful, yet was not a bully and was so profoundly self-controlled that no one had a clue who he really was.

As a real life example, Christ was the ultimate in self-control. Self control is powerful, attracting, addicting. I am speaking as one who is looking from the outside in, yet I really do believe that those with true self control are the most powerful people there are. I long to emulate that.

What about career? What careers shout "Success" to me? I think any career a person does that reflects their soul's desire. I, personally, would love to own or co-own a publishing/printing company. As part of that, I would like to be fluent in several languages besides my native language. I would also like to learn many, many different varieties of healing massage. To me, career success is not about how many people are in awe of you nor about how wealthy you are. Career success is about how well you love your work and how well it fulfills you and helps others. It seems to me that money should come as a part of that, plenty of money for your needs plus enough to help others if that is what you desire.

Socially adept instead of socially backwards, clean in body. Stench does not equal success to me, neither does having no idea how to adequately communicate with a variety of people.

I have felt as opposite of success as one can get - from the kind of man I attract to the kind of work I have managed to have. I am ready for change. I am ready for in-depth study and definite change. I am ready to succeed.