The guardian of the inhabited earth

 I didn't know what to title this. The above will do. 

I usually read several books at one time (obviously, taking turns reading them), and another book I've been reading is Old Testament and Related Studies by Hugh Nibley. This morning, I finished the chapter/sermon entitled Treasures in the Heavens and came across something interesting that I wanted to share.

This is from page 186 in the edition I have, and is written exactly as in the book (I changed nothing; the blog would not let me change the footnote # to a superscript, nor would it let me change it to a smaller font than the rest of the post):

These veils seem to serve as protecting as well as confining fences around the worlds: The light of the sun in its true nature (morphe) is not seen in this place, we are told, because it passes through "many veils and regions (topoi)" before reaching us; 116 its protective function is represented by a wonderful super-bird, called "the guardian of the inhabited earth" because "by spreading out his wings he absorbs (dechetai) the fire-like (pyrimorphos) rays" of the sun; "if he did not receive [absorb] them, the human race could not survive, nor any other form of life." 

That sounds, to me, like it is describing the magnetic field that protects the earth from the sun's power. In light of the fact that the magnetic field is weakening, so the when the sun throws things at us we feel it more (recent blackouts in certain countries is caused by that, according to some resources) makes it more likely, in my view.

 

 

The above picture came from here: 

 This search shows pictures of the magnetic field.

Thoughts on the allegory of Adam and Eve and the Fall

Disclaimer: I don't know anything and I already know that.


When God said, "Don't eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil," what he really said was, "Don't choose fear.".

The fallen one tried to get Adam to fear, but Adam wouldn't listen, so the fallen one tried to get Eve to fear. He found a way in, and Eve shared that fear with Adam. Perhaps she started a fight with him.

Then God returned and they couldn't bear to be in his presence because they had partaken of fear and anger. That made the Light and Love impossible to bear, so they had to leave to continue to exist.

And their children were born to parents who had learned to fear, and who had learned to be angry. And the fallen ones capitalized on that to create as much pain and mayhem and fear as they could get away with in all of the generations since Eva and Adam.

As far as the first clothing goes, I've heard the theory that Eve and Adam were clothed in Light until they "ate the fruit" - then that Light left and they had no covering to protect them, so God made clothing that would work in a pinch, but wasn't as good as what they had before.

Why, then, do the scriptures say the man and the woman were naked but not ashamed? Maybe because they didn't wear clothing like we do, but were clothed in Light.

What about Eve/the scriptures saying Adam and Eve would have had no children? It's possible they were in training and, at some point, the Gods would have taught them how to combat fear with love, then they would have gone prepared to the dark spot in the garden (see below).

Why were fallen ones allowed to roam the garden? I'm sure I do not know . . . but what if they were only confined to one area? What if they were confined to the spooky old house and yard in a certain part of the garden that was majorly creepy to anyone who knew what fear was? What if the Gods said to stay away from that creepy place? (After all, the fallen ones were kicked out onto the same planet. Maybe they demanded a place next to Adam and Eve's house. Far enough away to not overpower them unawares, but close enough to entice them because . . . well, I guess life is about choices. And, besides that, this planet was their turf.)

Adam wasn't interested in the spooky old house, but EVe wondered what it was, so crossed over the boundaries to explore it. In that case, the fallen ones had a chance to put fear and anger into her heart and mind.

And, since it's an allegory, what if the Gods were Eve and Adam's parents (two couples) who had survived a global disaster, and had reached a spiritual level so high that they were, in reality, Gods?

Just wondering. It makes for an interesting story, to be sure.

Suffering Poor vs 100B Dollars Sitting Around Collecting Interest

I honestly believe "the poor of the Lord's people" are all the poor on the planet, especially those who die from malnutrition or bad water.

The LORD will enter into judgment with the ancients of his people, and the princes thereof: for ye have eaten up the vineyard; the spoil of the poor is in your houses.

What mean ye that ye beat my people to pieces, and grind the faces of the poor? saith the Lord GOD of hosts.

    Isaiah 3:14-15
    2 Ne 13:14-15

And then, O ye Gentiles, how can ye stand before the power of God, except ye shall repent and turn from your evil ways?

Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God? Know ye not that he hath all power, and at his great command the earth shall be rolled together as a scroll?

Therefore, repent ye, and humble yourselves before him, lest he shall come out in justice against you—lest a remnant of the seed of Jacob shall go forth among you as a lion, and tear you in pieces, and there is none to deliver.

    Mormon 5:22 - 24

And the blood of that great and abominable church, which is the whore of all the earth, shall turn upon their own heads; for they shall war among themselves, and the sword of their own hands shall fall upon their own heads, and they shall be drunken with their own blood.

    1 Nephi 22:13

They seek not the Lord to establish his righteousness, but every man walketh in his own way, and after the image of his own god, whose image is in the likeness of the world, and whose substance is that of an idol, which waxeth old and shall perish in Babylon, even Babylon the great, which shall fall.

    Doctrine and Covenants Section 1:16

AND the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,

Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves!  should not the shepherds feed the flocks?

Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock.

The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.
    
And they were scattered, because there is no shepherd: and they became meat to all the beasts of the field, when they were scattered.
    
My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and upon every high hill: yea, my flock was scattered upon all the face of the earth, and none did search or seek after them.

Therefore, ye shepherds, hear the word of the LORD;

As I live, saith the Lord GOD, surely because my flock became a prey, and my flock became meat to every beast of the field, because there was no shepherd, neither did my shepherds search for my flock, but the shepherds fed themselves, and fed not my flock;

Therefore, O ye shepherds, hear the word of the LORD;

Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I am against the shepherds; and I will require my flock at their hand, and cause them to cease from feeding the flock; neither shall the shepherds feed themselves any more; for I will deliver my flock from their mouth, that they may not be meat for them.
    
For thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out.
    
Old Testament | Ezekiel 34:1 - 11

Didja ever wonder . . .

. . . if Krishna might really be God?

. . . if the God we know as Jesus/Jehovah/Joshua/Yeshua is the exact same person as some of "those" nonChristian Gods?

. . . if maybe we know a millionth of what we think we know?

. . .  if what we "know" to be truth might not be, after all?

. . . if we might be altogether wrong in what we perceive as absolutely God's own truth?

. . . if we might be full of putrid pride and not even have an inkling that we do?

. . . if maybe what we consider to be heinous sin doesn't necessarily match God's list in most respects?

. . . if the records of the Mayans and Aztecs might be spot on?

. . . if the records of ancient people all over the planet might know exactly what they're talking about when they say crazy stuff

. . . like planets were fighting each other in the sky
. . . like the year used to be 360 days long
. . . like the moon's cycle used to be exactly 30 days long
. . . like the sun used to come up in a different direction
. . . like the seasons were completely changed after dramatic upheaval
. . . like there are huge ages of the earth, separated by earth-wide cataclysmic events

. . . if there was a real reason for the ancient fear that the sun might disappear

. . . if we really don't know what we are, whether we have an eternal existence, how our internal (nonbody) self was created, what our eternal end might be (or maybe it really does end at death, and we are reabsorbed into a Great Mind or something similar).


Some people think each of us is a spirit that can split into more than one piece and be on earth as a mortal, while simultaneously being elsewhere (including on earth at the same time as the other part of us).

Some wonder if we are presently living our past, present and future - or if we are presently living on more than one earth (different dimensions) at the same time.

Beliefs can get pretty crazy, can't they?

I confess, I'm one of those who have wondered some of those crazy things - for like 50 years.

What is reality, anyway?

Yeah, what is reality anyway?




[Edit: For some reason, even though I changed nothing in the post, Blogger decided I published this today (Oct 20th). I don't recall when I originally published it, but I think it was after the 4-part posts, so I am randomly assigning it the date of October 7th.] 

Freedom to Search for Truth

I totally love this quote. Surely, Russell Nelson was inspired by God when he said this, no matter what his heart's intent. I am looking at his words, only. I am taking them at face value. I printed two copies and am going to put them up where I see them every day.

"While searching for the truth, we must be free to change our mind—even to change our religion—in response to new information and inspiration… One’s religion is not imposed by others. It is not predetermined. It is a very personal and sacred choice, nestled at the very core of human dignity.”

https://www.thechurchnews.com/archives/2004-05-27/elder-russell-m-nelson-freedom-to-do-and-to-be-96622



Credit for finding this quote goes to http://barerecord.blogspot.com/2019/08/a-very-personal-and-sacred-choice.html renamed A Seeker for Truth (can't change the url, but you can change the title of your blog).

What is real?

What is real?
What is false?
What is eternally real?
What do I believe and why?
What is running the show in my mind?
What is running the show in my life?
Is God real?
Is God a she or a he or a they or an it?
If there's a council of the Gods, what does that even mean?

What stands in my way of doing what I think I want?
Am I afraid? If so, of what?
Am I convinced that I'm incompetent or lazy or [insert some other negative label]?

What really runs my life?
Is it my subconscious? If so, how can I control it? How can I tell it what I really want? Will it even listen to me?

How much am I controlled by what I was taught as a child by my culture, by my religion, by my schooling, by my life experiences?

I am like a fish that has no idea it is swimming in water. How can I be aware of that of which I am not aware? How can I even choose to be or think a certain way if I don't even know there's a choice there? If I don't even know there's another way of being? If I don't even know I'm acting or being a certain way?

I am questioning everything. Everything I believe. Everything I think I know. I am questioning my past religion. I am questioning my present religion. I am trying to break out of my paradigms so I can look at them and see if they are true. If there even is a "true" or "false" aspect to them. And to see if they are useful to me.

What helps me? What hinders me? If I am a burden on others, how can I stop being a burden?

Why am I so plugged in to those around me that their emotions dig into my mind and body like daggers? What if I don't want to feel like they do? What if I don't want to take responsibility for their feelings or actions? What if I'm not supposed to fix their feelings or actions or lives? What if I'm supposed to let go and let them feel and live and be their own person, even if they feel anger or frustration or some other painful emotion?

What the hell is life all about, anyway? (And I don't want a pat answer from religion (or Religion). I want the truth. Real truth. Not the skewed versions of truth that we humans think we have a corner on.)




On a deviating subject, I recommend reading Velikovsky's books. I read "Velikovsky Reconsidered". It gave me background on the opposition he encountered. I'm presently reading "Worlds in Collision" and intend to read "Earth in Upheaval" after that. I don't know if they can be gotten new. My copies are used, and several decades old.

Considering his theories without being angry that he's attacking your preconceived ideas or paradigms opens your eyes to the fact that even scientists don't necessarily know what the hell they're talking about. And I submit that pretty much all of us don't know what the hell we're talking about when we talk about things we "know" are true.

Musings - What if . . . ?

What if . . .
Destruction begins in Boise, Idaho, flows down through Idaho Falls, Logan, Utah, the Centerville/Salt Lake area, through the Orem/Provo area, then stops for a season?

What if . . . 
During this period of rest, God sends out his angels to gather the beginnings of Zion?

What if . . . 
After the period of rest, destruction picks up again where it left off, going from the Ephraim, Utah area through the Cedar City area, through the St. George area to the Las Vegas, Nevada area, then continues until it reached the Phoenix, Arizona area?

What if . . .
There's another period of rest, then destruction picks up again in California, Texas, and Georgia - and continues until the overflowing scourge has encompassed all of the continental U.S. - maybe even Canada?

What if . . . 
God has a pattern he wants us to see, so that we can be forewarned and prepared?

Trusting Jesus

This morning, during the sacrament of the Lord's supper, a memory came back to me, as well as insights about it, and I'd like to share it.

I used to be very afraid of heights. When I was a teenager, I was at Lagoon (an amusement park north of Salt Lake City, Utah) with my sister, her husband, and their two children. We were near the ferris wheel and wanted to go to the other side of the park. Above our heads was a ride. It went from one side of the park to the other, and all you did on the ride was travel from one side to the other, high above the park. My brother-in-law and my 2 or 3-year-old niece were going to ride and my sister was going to walk. My brother-in-law was a big, solid guy.

I was torn. I really wanted to ride so I could see the view, but was terribly afraid to do so. I finally decided to follow my brother-in-law. They put the three of us in one of the seats which, to my horror, had no place to put our feet (I'm sure it was to make it easier to get on and off the ride, as it was constantly moving). I really wanted to jump out and say, "No way, I'm not doing that!" But I kept quiet, and it was soon too late to do anything to escape except jump out, which would have hurt a lot.

I put my arms around my brother-in-law's neck and hid my face in his shoulder. Gradually, after I saw that having no footrest didn't make me fall out, I got brave enough to peek out. That led to slowly looking at the scenery until, about halfway through the ride, I was looking at everything. We saw my sister with the baby in the baby-backpack, the other rides, the concession stands, the parking lot.

The ride became enjoyable. I may have still held on to my brother-in-law's arm, but I was no longer terrified. I wasn't even fearful. (That didn't remove my fear of heights, by the way.)

As that experience was brought to my mind today, this thought accompanied it: Christ is my rock. Jesus is my solid foundation. As my brother-in-law was my rock that helped me overcome my fear during that ride, so Jesus is there to help me overcome all fear. Also, the feeling of safety and security that my brother-in-law filled me with returned with the memory of the incident, and I was shown that I can have that same feeling with the Lord. In everything.

My brother-in-law seemed safe and solid and, in that thing he was totally safe. But he is a man. Mortal. Human. He cannot be my salvation, nor my safety in all things. Jesus is safe. Immortal. Divine. And can be my salvation, as well as my safety, in all things.

I think this was a first real step in trusting the Lord, and I praise him for it. He is ever kind, ever beckoning, ever doing all he can to persuade us to trust him, to persuade us that he is the only place of complete safety. No matter what it is we fear, no matter what it is that has hurt us in the past or that threatens us now, he is the only safe place we can be.

I am sure there are other lessons to be learned from that experience, lessons that would bring me closer to Jesus Christ, my Lord.

In any case, I hope this recollection helps someone who reads this. I hope it helps you draw closer to the Lord, who loves you.
 

 

KM Letter

Okay, this is a lighthearted post, but I don't think the author of the piece would mind at all if any of you decided to actually use it.

I'm sure many of you are familiar with the Kirton-McConkie letter forbidding people from stepping on church property (Will Carter has a copy of one on his blog). It's a form letter. Well, a friend made one, following their pattern, that really blasts open the ludicrousness of it.

So, any of you who have gotten such a letter, if you would like to reciprocate, here is a copy of the letter:

Dear Mr. [insert bishop or stake pres. name],

We are writing to inform you of restrictions placed upon you because of your recent actions.  You have harmed our family, violated your own policies, and caused members of our family to fear for our safety and well-being.  As a result you are no longer welcome to come onto any property owned by [insert name(s)], wherever located.  Your children are welcome to visit our property for personal, confidential interviews provided they remain respectful and obedient to our instructions, provided that you do not accompany them.

We regret the necessity for this action and urge your immediate compliance.  If you or anyone representing you or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints comes onto any of the aforementioned property in violation of these restrictions, you will be treated as a trespasser and will be subject to arrest and prosecution. 

This restriction may be lifted if you can demonstrate to [insert name(s)] that you no longer pose a threat to others.  You must comply with these restrictions for a sufficient time, demonstrate a sufficient degree of humility, and consistently take any medications prescribed by your healthcare provider.  If a change in these restrictions is approved, you will receive a letter from an attorney’s office informing you of any changes.

Respectfully,
[insert name(s)]

God, Numbers, and His Ten Lectures

I've been studying the ten lectures to see what God would have me learn, do, and be. This part made me wonder what it is God is saying by doing this:

. . . beginning in Boise and going on through Phoenix, the beginning date, the ending date, the content, the fact that there are 10 of them, the timeframe in which they are being delivered, the fact He wanted us to begin on the first day of the 40th year, and He wanted us to end on the last day of the 40th year, those things are not my doing. He is the author of this all.

What this site says about the numeral 40 is this:

The number 40 represents transition or change; the concept of renewal; a new beginning. The number 40 has the power to lift a spiritual state.

It represents a purification (see the link above).

The symbol for us may be that the messenger was purified, meaning we can trust what he says because he is not on his own errand, but that of the Lord's. It is a symbol or witness to us that he may very well have been sent by God. (For me, the message convinces me it is of God. The number only verifies that.)

Also, the change in the LDS Church (and probably other churches that count Joseph Smith Jr as their spiritual father) - a transition away from being led, collectively, by the Lord (though individuals are always able to open heaven, if they repent and believe, and follow Christ).

For those of us who listened to and believed the Lord's words through His messenger, it was the year of renewal and a new beginning for us, lifting us to a spiritual state because our hearts are not hardened, our minds are not blinded, our necks are not stiff. It can represent God's invitation to be purified, to begin anew, to change into what the Lord would like us to be.

10 lectures, 10 places (could have been 10 separate men, if 9 others could have been found. It reminds me of the story of the ten lepers. Only one returned, and he was a stranger. Only one was found to deliver the lectures, and he was a convert -instead of being one of the descendants of those who had lived in Nauvoo).

In regards to the numeral 10, this site has this to say:

[T]en is one of the perfect numbers, and signifies the perfection of Divine order, commencing, as it does, an altogether new series of numbers.  . . . 

Completeness of order, marking the entire round of anything, is, therefore, the ever-present signification of the number ten. It implies that nothing is wanting; that the number and order are perfect; that the whole cycle is complete.

That ought to give us something to ponder on (I have no intention of spelling out all that I've been thinking nor all my conclusions).

1 year. 1 = unity. Also, the first. The Firstborn. All rising up to be firstborn, if they are willing to do, to sacrifice, to be.

See this site - and this one for a little information about the numeral 1.

I couldn't find the meaning of a year, let alone an exact year, but I found this site that talked about the meaning of the number 365.

 Age of Enoch when God took him.

 Interesting, considering that it is the city of Enoch that we are looking for, after Zion is established.

North to Boise, south to Mesa (Phoenix area), west to Las Vegas (Henderson, actually), and east to Grand Junction. From Idaho to Arizona. From Nevada to Colorado. Thus covering the whole of Utah and most of the pioneer outposts or settlements sent out in Brigham Young's time.

From the Idaho Falls lecture:

I don't know if it's important that anyone from Idaho Falls comes here. I don't know if it's important if anybody from Idaho Falls hears one word. But I do know that a testimony needs to be spoken on this ground, in this place. I know that everyone will be accountable for that. Not just those who happen to stumble upon this.

 (Off our topic, but he also said: "God is moving systematically. He is taking the measure of the Latter-day Saints. His hand is about to move again in the affairs of men. We have a window." I would say that His hand is definitely moving now.)

 We could make a whole discussion on how we are all connected and that being the possible reason we are all held accountable. Or we could go at it from the angle of most of us within the parameters of the lectures know about the Book of Mormon and say we believe it is a holy book and valuable to us.

But, I am looking at the "testimony needs to be spoken on this ground," part. I believe there is a reason God wanted the lectures given in certain places (someone who ought to know, said that the messenger was rejected in Salt Lake City, and that is why one of the lectures was given in Centerville, Utah). I believe Manti was once holy ground and that is why one of the lectures was given there.

Look at the map (the cities that mark the outside perimeters of the lectures are starred). Draw your own conclusions. They are likely to be just as good or better than mine.

Dates and Numbers

I was thinking of this post I made on LDSFF a while ago. It may mean nothing at all - and rereading it, I see flawed logic - but I wanted to post it because I love playing with numbers.

Post written September 1, 2013:
Dates and Numbers
Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 4:51 pm
by A Random Phrase

During Sunday School today, my daughter and I were looking at dates and came up with some interesting patterns. If anyone has ideas to add, please feel free.

1820 – 1st vision
1823 – 1st Moroni visit
1827 – Got the gold plates
1830 – 1st publication of the Book of Mormon
•

Years between each: 3, 4, 3

Years between 1st vision and getting the gold plates – 7

Years between 1st vision and 1st publication – 10
•

1831 – Zion in Missouri was given in revelation (D&C 57)

1833 – They were kicked out of Missouri because of their wickedness (D&C 101)

1838 – They got another chance (D&C 124)

1844 – They turned over the prophets to murderers

1830-1844 – The time from the 1st publication of the BofM until the death of the prophets. There are two sevens (14 years) and they got two chances.
•

1973 – a prophet-to-be joined the church

2006 – The Second Comforter published – The beginning of the 3rd chance for the institution.

1973-2013 – Years the prophet was a member – 40
•

1844-2006 – 162 years. This is divisible by 3 four times, then times two – 3*3*3*3*2 or 3 to the power of 4 times 2.

2006-2013 – Years between the 1st book and the casting out of a prophet by the powers that answer to God for the people, and that speak to the people for God – 7

Let's look at some of those dates again:

2 years – 1831-1833 – Missouri Zion

7 years – 1831-1838 – Next chance at Zion

7 years – 2006-2013 – 1st book to casting out – last chance for Zion (gentle info)

2 years – 2011-2013 – PtHG to casting out – last chance for Zion (plain & painful info)

It's a chiasmus. 2 7 7 2 – 1831-1833 and 2011-2013 on the outside.

One more:
2011 – PtHG 1st published

2013 – The institutional Gentiles reject the message, thus ending the times of the Gentiles and beginning the times of the Remnant.

2012 is the mean of these two numbers.

2012 – The Mayan “end of an age” and the beginning of a new one.

It appears we are on the tail end of one age and the beginning of the next age.

One thought: If the days begin at sunset, when night is drawing nigh, do the years begin in the fall when the days begin to grow shorter?

So, how much time do we lay Gentiles have? 7 years if we listen and do? 3 years if we don't? Could we safely say that the destruction will begin in earnest in 2020? If prophets are killed before then, would the destruction/cleansing of "my house" begin within a few months to a couple of years? And the 2020 date would be the country?

Thoughts? Insights?

End of post.

Added thought: 40 years to the day after his baptism, DS began the Lord's lecture circuit. 10 years after his baptism, the following March, his ministry began. Does that mean the Lord is giving us 10 1/2 years to succeed or blow this opportunity?

March 2024?

The servant may mean nothing in and of himself, but the Lord seems to use them as signs (was it Isaiah whose marriage and sons were for signs? Was he the one who walked around naked to show the people what lifestyle they could expect if they did not repent?). It is the dates and numbers and "What is God doing?" that I am focusing on in this post, not any individual.

Strongmen

We need to be ever so careful about becoming strongmen and following strongmen. It can begin oh-so-innocuously. I realized this recently.

A community I know has split. As far as I know, it was a peaceful split (they met on Sundays and I work that day, so know very little about it). There was disagreement on the manner of administering the sacrament and on baptism. (This is not a post on splitting communities, though.)

One of the men understood the scriptures to mean that one must receive God's own voice before one has authority to baptize. A couple other men were willing to baptize those who desired it and were warned by the first man that they did not have authority without that voice. The other men baptized, anyway, following the pattern of Alma Senior (crying unto the Lord, then immediately began to baptize). The first man did not consider those baptisms to be valid.

I was not in the group baptism(s) but I was baptized by one of these (Alma-oriented) men later. I felt clean afterward and I noticed that the scriptures opened up to me. I began to understand them like never before. I would read and wonder why I hadn't seen that before; it was so obvious. That is still happening to me. Consequently, I believe my baptism to be valid.

The first man finally got the voice of the Lord giving him authority to baptize and was told to baptize beginning in the spring. He offered his services, including to those who felt their previous baptism was invalid (I was one who got that email. I didn't understand it completely until it was explained to me by a couple of friends).

Now, I don't judge or condemn either side. One desires an audible voice and believes that is the way to go. The others did not. One is now offering his services. The others offered their services last fall. That's okay.

What I saw, though, is this: we, perhaps, think of a strongman as easy to discern. We may think we know if we are becoming one. But, maybe it isn't so easy to figure out. Saying, "I think it should be done this way," was fine - but saying, "You are doing it wrong. Your baptisms are not valid," was not.

In the LDS Church, there is a concept of "stewardships". That is to say, you have the right to receive revelation for whoever you are a steward over, but no one else. A parent, a bishop, a Relief Society president, and on up to the general authorities and president of the church. We are supposed to not receive revelation for anyone outside our stewardship.

I bring that up because, in this movement created by the Lord, there is no such thing as that type of stewardship - i.e. no one has the right to tell another that their revelation is wrong, their way of performing ordinances is wrong, their manner of living and being in their communities is wrong (though they should be perfectly free to disagree, to say, "I don't think that is the right way." The difference is that one is spoken by way of opinion and the other is spoken by way of commandment). The only one who could do that would be one to whom the Lord, personally, has given the commandment and obligation of teaching everyone what the Lord desires. (Now, that man exists, but his current job is to step back and let us figure it all out.)

The purpose of these communities, the purpose of this last (new?) chance by the Lord is so that no one may say, "Hear ye the voice of the Lord," but that they may all hear the voice of the Lord, themselves. We are each to connect to heaven. We are each to see, hear, and touch the Lord ourselves, relying on no man (or woman) to take us to Him.

It was a small thing. I'm sure that those who may be following the first man (I don't know if anyone is actually "following" him or if they simply agree with his opinions) don't think of him as a strongman. I know the man and he is the kindest, biggest-hearted man I know. I am positive he is not trying to be a strongman, but is simply trying to do what he feels is right.

The reason I'm writing this post is to open our eyes to ourselves. Are we doing anything that is pointing in the direction of being a strongman? Am I? Is someone around us doing that? If we follow their position and agree with it, is it because we genuinely agree that that position is correct, or are we thinking that they might have a better connection to heaven or know more than we do?

It so so easy to fall into the trap of becoming a strongman or being led by one. We can't even see it when it begins, most likely.

You see, I used to think that "the strongman model" would be a man who wanted followers. He wanted people to think he was hot stuff, that he had a special connection to heaven. This man, this friend of mine, opened my eyes to the idea that we are all in danger of being one, no matter how loving and honest and sincere we may be.

It is such a treacherous road we have chosen to follow. Dangers loom on every side. And they may very well be disguised as, "I'm trying to help you," "You've gone off the path and you need to do what I want you to do or else you are in need of repentance." And that is not to mention the dangers of, "We are doing great!" "We are having much success!" "Let's go forward and create Zion because we know how to do it, now," without God actually appearing and telling you to do so. (And if He did appear, was it really Him?)

Milk versus Meat

I had an interesting thought (to me, anyway). In the scriptures, we read of babies drinking milk and, when they get old enough, they eat meat. And we talk on and on about how we've got to be careful not to feed people meat (hard to digest and all that).

But, I think we forget that the word translated as "meat" in the KJV of the Bible simply means "food". "He sat at meat," means, "He ate a meal." If there is no more information, we don't know what he ate. It could have been barley bread and cheese.

So, the conflict is between a baby who is still suckling at the breasts and a two-year-old who can chew and eat most foods or a seven-year-old who can chew and eat all foods, not between a baby and a thirty-year-old or eighty-five-year-old.

You really don't have to be very old to be able to eat solid foods. All you need are enough teeth to chew the food without choking . . . and enough sense to take the time to chew thoroughly.

Read what Joseph Smith said are the first principles of the gospel (when speaking to his people).

Jesus' Bread Recipe

Jesus is the bread of life (John 6:35, 50-51). Wheat, when it dies, brings forth life (John 12:24). Jesus gave us the bread recipe, though not the measurements.

Take some wheat (Matt 3:12). Throw out any tares (Matt 13:25). Add oil (Matt 25:3; Mark 6:13). Add water (John 3:5). Add salt that is pure (3 Nephi 12:13; Luke 14:34). Add leavening (Luke 13:21; 1 Cor 5:6).

There are hidden meanings here, pieces of a puzzle. Separately, they don't mean as much, but put them together and bake them in the fiery furnace of affliction or in the refiner's fire and you come out with a finished product, if you will. One worth saving. One worth partaking of in the household of God just as food becomes one with us when we partake of it, thus becoming one with the Gods - thus we can all share the Mind of God and be one.

Created in the Image of God

We were created in God's "image." 

What is my "image"? What I see in the mirror. It looks like me, but it is not me. It mimics me, but it cannot think. It cannot escape the two-dimensional space it resides in. There is an illusion that it resides in a three-dimensional space, but it actually does not.

We were created in God's image. We are not exactly like Him. We don't think His thoughts. We dwell in very limited dimensions of time and space. At some point, we hope to be able to be like Him and to "see as we are seen" - to have the fulness of autonomy and dimension that God now had.

Random Thought 3

The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know anything. I had an experience [several] nights ago wherein I saw and felt the darkness and filthiness I reside in, that we all reside in - yet so many of us (myself included) think we have Light. It was disheartening, to say the least.

During that same experience, I reached out to the Holy Spirits that reside in us and found spirits that were willing to help, and power came and helped out with the thing I was concerned about.

It is like a paradox. Everything.

We are dark. We are Light. (Varying shades, spiritually speaking.)
We have to have faith in God to know God but we need to know Him to some degree before we can have faith in him.
We have to give up our lives to live.
We have to sacrifice everything to have everything.
We have to experience hell to experience heaven.
And probably a thousand other things.

I honestly believe that the Reality we left behind more closely resembles our dreams than it does our waking lives.

Random Thought 2

The fact that the Bible has been mistranslated, altered, torn apart and put together again really makes it difficult to trust the book. Add metatext in the form of headings and footnotes, then it is even more difficult to trust the "truths" in the book.

On top of that, we often take our metatext Bible and imprint it onto the Book of Mormon so that it may not say what we think it says. *Sigh* This waking up and seeing scriptures with new eyes is not so easy to accomplish at times.

Thoughts on 3 Nephi 20:39-46

I read 3 Nephi 20:39-46 this morning. I had some thoughts on these scriptures. I may be right. I may be wrong.

39  Verily, verily, I say unto you, that my people shall know my name; yea, in that day they shall know that I am he that doth speak.

Key word is "know." These people belong to the Lord because they know Him. They have seen and conversed with Him. They have felt His wounds. They know His name.

40  And then shall they say: How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings unto them, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings unto them of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion: Thy God reigneth!

Then, shall these people have tremendous appreciation for the prophets who have seen Jesus and who have pointed the way to Him, those who have spoken with power, viewing their lives and safety as nothing in comparison with following the Lord and doing His bidding. They do not protect any person or organization by minimizing uncomfortable or unpopular truths. They speak plainly, and many people are angered by these men.

41  And then shall a cry go forth: Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch not that which is unclean; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean that bear the vessels of the Lord.

These people desire to literally leave Babylon. The body bears the spirit. These people's spirits have been made holy. There are enough of them to physically leave.

42  For ye shall not go out with haste nor go by flight; for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel shall be your rearward.

These people are not leaving because they were kicked out, nor because they were threatened with death if they stayed. They are not going out in haste nor by flight. They are protected by Deity in front and behind. No nasty surprises coming toward them. No secret attacks on their rear.

43  Behold, my servant shall deal prudently; he shall be exalted and extolled and be very high.

Jesus was extolled, exalted, and is very high.

44  As many were astonished at thee—his visage was so marred, more than any man, and his form more than the sons of men—

According to Denver Snuffer's testimony of the atonement, Jesus received literal wounds from the suffering of every person on earth. It is impossible for anyone to be more marred than He, because He took on everyone's marring and healed from it. (See "Come Let Us Adore Him" - I don't recall the page, but it should be easy enough to find.)

45  So shall he sprinkle many nations; the kings shall shut their mouths at him, for that which had not been told them shall they see; and that which they had not heard shall they consider.

Jesus' blood sprinkled upon the ground as He sweat great drops of blood. Not sure about the rest. Perhaps it is the Spirit that talks to them and teaches them, not their own experiences with anything of this earth.

46  Verily, verily, I say unto you, all these things shall surely come, even as the Father hath commanded me.  Then shall this covenant which the Father hath covenanted with his people be fulfilled; and then shall Jerusalem be inhabited again with my people, and it shall be the land of their inheritance.

The things written above shall surely come. They will happen.

But Jesus had already died and was resurrected. In fact, He was the one speaking. Yes, He was. Was He exalted, extolled, and very high at the time of this visit with the Nephites? I don't know. But I do know that time means nothing to the Gods. Timing does, but time itself doesn't. I've read scriptures that speak of the future as though it had already happened.

In any case, I had these thoughts today as I read, and wanted to share.

Random Thoughts on Covenants and Birth

This morning, as I was praying and trying to sort out my mind in an effort to stop following darkness (the sins are sins of thought), rather randomly Denver Snuffer's comments in his latest (temple) fireside came to my mind in conjunction with my first baby.

First, this is what he said (1:15:24-1:16:07): "And I can tell you that covenants traditionally involve cutting - And covenants in the Old Testament involve the shedding of blood - And covenants with our Lord at some point, in some contexts, with some reaches, require that we suffer."

[sidenote: In pioneer times, the marks cut into a person's clothing were not sewn on.]

He was in the midst of speaking of his own suffering, of operations performed that involved the flesh being cut, as well as blood being shed.

When I was pregnant for the tirst time, I decided this was my "tithing child". This was the child I would dedicate to the Lord, according to the law of sacrifice in the Old Testament (as I understand it).

According to the Bible:

(As it is written in the law of the Lord, Every male that openeth the womb shall be called holy to the Lord
(New Testament | Luke 2:23)

 My child ended up being female. In fact, some months before she was born, she emphatically told me, "Don't call me a boy!" In my mind and heart, though, I did not waver in devoting her to the Lord. I'm sure I broke some ancient Jewish law because I was female and I was offering up my child as a covenant to God, and the child ended up being female. I didn't even know there would be a "God's part" to this gift, to this covenant. As far as I know, there is none.

She was a home birth-turned-c-section. Because I did not feel safe where I was laboring (for reasons I won't go into here), my body would not let her out, so we went to the hospital after many hours. She was breech. Had the medical community not been fearful (or is that "terrified") of delivering a breech naturally, she would have been born vaginally, because as soon as we got to the hospital my body started pushing her out.

In any case, she was a c-section. A cesarean. That means they cut open my belly. They sliced open my skin, then my muscles, and then my uterus, then they pulled her out through the cuts. I was awake for this but did not have to watch it, thank goodness.

My firstborn, offered as a "living sacrifice" to God, was offered via the cutting of the person who gave the gift. (The child, herself, seemed to have no problem with this. They showed her to me right after they pulled her out. She was checking things out, looking at this new place she was in to see what it was like. We had an incredible link from the beginning, which diminished the more she let go of the spiritual world, the more she became incorporated into this world.)

It involved cutting. It involved hellish pain, the likes of which I had never experienced before (physically), and never have since (I gave birth vaginally twice after, with a painkiller for about an hour for my middle child, no painkiller for the last child). It involved hellish pain after, because I did not want to bother the nurses and waited too long to ask for a painkiller after I was in my room. By the time I was hurting, it was the shift change and they could not give me a painkiller until they were through giving reports to the new shift. By then, I was in agony again, a fiery agony this time.

I almost did not have my next baby. I believed to my core that God hated women, or that He had a particular grudge against me, personally. The lie that a woman forgets the pain and "it is all worth it" came up in my face at least once by a well-meaning woman who had obviously experienced this forgetting. Even now, I have not forgotten that hell. But I still dedicated the child to God.

And I decided that I needed to give God a chance to prove that He did not hate me, that He did not hate women, and I let myself get pregnant again to see what He would do, if anything. (This took a great deal of courage. Also, I had gathered my children around me when I was about to be married and told them to prepare to be born, so I felt a commitment to have these children. Three - two girls and a boy - had gathered close to me, and one boy was farther off, who I have not had yet. Though God gave Isaac to Sarah at 99 years old, I do not know if God will give such a gift to this son and myself. I have nearly 45 years to see, though. *smilie*)

It was illegal in my state for a midwife to attend a post-cesarean mother, hence home birth was out of the question (I had not heard of freebirth at the time). I ended up going to Utah. Salt Lake City, actually, where I ended up with the most incredible doctor (Dr. Pease) and a very good hospital (Holy Cross Hospital between North and South Temple and between 10th and 11th East). There was no question in my mind that I'd have a vaginal birth. The cut I'd had was the kind that allows a "trial" labor, but I innocently ignored the word "try".

I did not know I was "supposed" to rip apart. I had no clue that I was "supposed" to explode inside. Neither the woman who pulled out my oldest daughter nor Dr. Pease gave me a reason to fear. The second labor was less than three hours from start to finish. Had someone been there who would have told me that my feelings of "I can't do this," was a sign that the baby was about ready to be pushed into the world and to hang in there at least 15 more minutes, I would not have asked for a painkiller, and the pushing stage would have been 1/2 an hour instead of one hour. (They warned me that the painkiller might not take effect until after the baby had been born, but I did not recognize that as a statement that the baby was about to be born.)

I was also surprised at the rest between contractions at the beginning. My last experience had been one long pain that was somewhat tolerable at the beginning turning into something so bad long before the 13 hours were over that it was more than I could endure. (I was very uncomfortable with how this was worded before. It was true, but it "felt" like it was offensive or uncomfortable to someone.)

I recognized that God did His part very well in the second birth, considering my total lack of faith and considering my very dark thoughts about Him. In fact, right after second daughter was born, I told a nurse I wanted to have another baby, I wanted to labor and birth again. She discouraged that idea. lol

Actually, God was incredibly loving and patient to not punish me for my honest beliefs about Him. Any human I know personally would have been swift to punish such insubordination, such heresy, such blasphemy as I thought and believed in my heart of hearts.

So, now, as I struggle with losing battles against darkness and wondering if it is even worth trying to fight for control of my own thoughts, my mind turns to this experience and I wonder what, if anything, it all means. I wonder if it was a covenant, - and if it was, was the covenant sealed by the shedding of my blood and by my incredible suffering. And if  so, what was God's part in it. What was it He was supposed to give?

Home Teachers

Home teachers are people who are assigned to pretend they care. Some keep up the pretense rather well. Most do not. Some never bother to show up. (Most of mine have shown up.) Some say they will show up, but never do. (I've had my share of these.) Some offer to help, but never get around to it. Some become genuine friends. (I had one of those right after I got back from my mission, years ago.) Most (that I have had) are polite, putting in their time for whatever reason.

Numbers.

I think this is the major reason. Pushing for that 100%. You can usually tell these. They are the ones who call (or show up) within the last few days of the month on a consistent basis.

Tradition.

This is what is done in the church, therefor we do it. We think we know why. We honor Brigham Young for beginning this inspired program. (But, then, we have no idea what it was that Brigham Young actually expected the men to do, nor do we know that it was not popular, because the people did not like the idea of such invasive questions.)

Pride.

These are the ones who feel compelled to have 100% home teaching. The visits are superficial (most home teaching visits are, anyway, in my experience – no matter what category most of them fit into). They may be at the end of the month, at the beginning, or any points in between. The impetus is to put on a face to the world (church) that theydo 100% home teaching, that they are righteous and holy. Perhaps they are striving to go up the ecclesiastical ladder.

Guilt.

I think men are less prone to this factor than women, but this is definitely one. Gonna be punished. Gonna look bad. Who knows when these home teachersshow up. They may get home teaching done quickly just to say it's done.

I have had home teachers who:

were genuine friends before they were assigned -

became friends because of the home teaching position -

set up a time and date, but never showed up (they followed this pattern on a regular basis) -

came, and we had stilted conversation before they got to the crux of the meeting – a lesson in a magazine that I could read for myself (and probably already had) -

helped us with things we genuinely needed -

helped us grudgingly -

helped us, apparently willingly.

My favorite home teachers.

The one after my mission came because he was assigned. In other words, he didn't know my roommate and myself before this time. But he seemed to genuinely care. We had “real” conversations.

Then there was the one who would set appointments, but only showed up for the first one. I don't know how much he genuinely cared, but when we needed him, he was there. This includes the formidable task of moving us from southeastern Arizona to southwestern Utah – freely and without complaint or hesitation.

In northern Arizona, we rented from a man and his wife. Very low rent ($300 a month). When we moved in, the kids and I helped finish a room that was being added onto the trailer we were renting. For that, we got free rent for at least a month (maybe two).

And, he made me a deal: I could work for him to pay for $100 of the rent each month. He was writing a book, but he was mostly blind. He could not type because of lack of feeling in his fingertips. I worked for him 12 ½ hours a monthas his eyes and as his typist. (He was not physically well enough to do more than a couple of hours of work at a time.) When my niece died, he lent me money to get up to the funeral (another couple lent me a car, because mine was not good enough to go that far, in my opinion. They were neither home nor visiting teachers). I paid him back through work.

Soon after I moved in, he told me that they had assigned him as my home teacher. He asked if I'd accept him as my home teacher. When I told him yes, he asked if I wanted a monthly visit. I told him, “No.” If he was there when we needed him, that was enough. And he wasthere when we needed him, both he and his wife. The amount of help they gave us was incredible, considering that he kept calling himself, “useless,” because of his poor health.

We called them Grandpa and Grandma. They had had a toddler killed in a car accident years before (a drunk driver hit them). She had been born a year afterI had been born. They “adopted” me, and told me I was the replacement for that child. Not exactly, because one cannot replace someone who was lost, but this was their view of myself and my children. They even took me to her grave and showed it to me. They had many children, by the way. All of the childrenwere grown by the time I met this couple.

I wish I still lived in that area. I would love to be going over there, helping Grandpa type his latest story. (He had been typing a history when I moved into the trailer, but by the time I moved out of that area, long after moving out of his place, he wasworking on historical stories.)

Their hearts were “as big as all outdoors”.

I don't like “lessons” from either home teachers or visiting teachers. I don't think God ever set up a program of people mechanically teaching or of being assigned to care. I believe He can and has used the program to help those who need help, but that's only because we are not living Zion.

If we were living Zion we would not need to be assigned to care. We would naturally care. We would notice those who needed what we can give, because we would be open to the Spirit pointing those people out to us. I have had such people come into my radar when I was in a position to help. I have also been on the receiving end of such help. Even now, some people who were truly inspired to help us have been pulling me out of the pit of despair with their very real help. I don't even know these people in real life. They are internet friends.

I suppose my point in all of this is that we should be living in a way where “assigned friends” are not necessary, where we are living in such a way that God brings to us those we can help in whatever way their souls ache. We should not have to teach someone a monthly lesson. Instead, we should be loving them and praying for them. They can (and should) study the scriptures for themselves, forgoing the middle-men to God. We should help because of the love of God that resides in our hearts.