What is real?

What is real?
What is false?
What is eternally real?
What do I believe and why?
What is running the show in my mind?
What is running the show in my life?
Is God real?
Is God a she or a he or a they or an it?
If there's a council of the Gods, what does that even mean?

What stands in my way of doing what I think I want?
Am I afraid? If so, of what?
Am I convinced that I'm incompetent or lazy or [insert some other negative label]?

What really runs my life?
Is it my subconscious? If so, how can I control it? How can I tell it what I really want? Will it even listen to me?

How much am I controlled by what I was taught as a child by my culture, by my religion, by my schooling, by my life experiences?

I am like a fish that has no idea it is swimming in water. How can I be aware of that of which I am not aware? How can I even choose to be or think a certain way if I don't even know there's a choice there? If I don't even know there's another way of being? If I don't even know I'm acting or being a certain way?

I am questioning everything. Everything I believe. Everything I think I know. I am questioning my past religion. I am questioning my present religion. I am trying to break out of my paradigms so I can look at them and see if they are true. If there even is a "true" or "false" aspect to them. And to see if they are useful to me.

What helps me? What hinders me? If I am a burden on others, how can I stop being a burden?

Why am I so plugged in to those around me that their emotions dig into my mind and body like daggers? What if I don't want to feel like they do? What if I don't want to take responsibility for their feelings or actions? What if I'm not supposed to fix their feelings or actions or lives? What if I'm supposed to let go and let them feel and live and be their own person, even if they feel anger or frustration or some other painful emotion?

What the hell is life all about, anyway? (And I don't want a pat answer from religion (or Religion). I want the truth. Real truth. Not the skewed versions of truth that we humans think we have a corner on.)




On a deviating subject, I recommend reading Velikovsky's books. I read "Velikovsky Reconsidered". It gave me background on the opposition he encountered. I'm presently reading "Worlds in Collision" and intend to read "Earth in Upheaval" after that. I don't know if they can be gotten new. My copies are used, and several decades old.

Considering his theories without being angry that he's attacking your preconceived ideas or paradigms opens your eyes to the fact that even scientists don't necessarily know what the hell they're talking about. And I submit that pretty much all of us don't know what the hell we're talking about when we talk about things we "know" are true.