KM Letter

Okay, this is a lighthearted post, but I don't think the author of the piece would mind at all if any of you decided to actually use it.

I'm sure many of you are familiar with the Kirton-McConkie letter forbidding people from stepping on church property (Will Carter has a copy of one on his blog). It's a form letter. Well, a friend made one, following their pattern, that really blasts open the ludicrousness of it.

So, any of you who have gotten such a letter, if you would like to reciprocate, here is a copy of the letter:

Dear Mr. [insert bishop or stake pres. name],

We are writing to inform you of restrictions placed upon you because of your recent actions.  You have harmed our family, violated your own policies, and caused members of our family to fear for our safety and well-being.  As a result you are no longer welcome to come onto any property owned by [insert name(s)], wherever located.  Your children are welcome to visit our property for personal, confidential interviews provided they remain respectful and obedient to our instructions, provided that you do not accompany them.

We regret the necessity for this action and urge your immediate compliance.  If you or anyone representing you or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints comes onto any of the aforementioned property in violation of these restrictions, you will be treated as a trespasser and will be subject to arrest and prosecution. 

This restriction may be lifted if you can demonstrate to [insert name(s)] that you no longer pose a threat to others.  You must comply with these restrictions for a sufficient time, demonstrate a sufficient degree of humility, and consistently take any medications prescribed by your healthcare provider.  If a change in these restrictions is approved, you will receive a letter from an attorney’s office informing you of any changes.

Respectfully,
[insert name(s)]

Do You Know Whether the Wether is Under the Weather Today?

On the internet I've come across some interesting spellings, that just happen to be real words. Okay, they are painful spellings.

"I don't know weather he did it or not." "The whether is nice today." "The wether is nice today." Of course that last sentence makes a bit of sense, but to say, "The wether is sunny today," might draw a blank stare from those who know that a wether is a castrated male sheep.

The worst (or best, depending on your point of view) examples are found in YouTube comments. Most of the comments are swear words and vulgar comments, with a great many painful (or creative, if it pleases you to look at it that way) spellings of words. YouTube seems to draw a great many people of low intelligence (I am not talking about ability to spell in this instance, I am talking about inability to hold a decent conversation, to think clearly, and to have basic good manners (politeness, tact, kindness). If this is an honest representation of the bulk of our society, heaven cannot help us. We are firmly on our way to self-destruction.

Thesaurus dot com draws an audience only slightly better. I could not believe it when I read comments on the posts Thesaurus/Dictionary dot com has. Could most of those people who commented even be intelligent enough to understand the article they were supposed to have just read? I won't demean the authors of the comments to bring you examples, but the articles were written to appeal to people who would understand the articles. Clearly, that does not happen upwards of eighty percent of the time.