3 Dads Address School Boards about critical race theory/pronouns

This four-minute video shows 2 black men challenging critical race theory, and another man challenging pronouns. Very much worth watching, in my opinion.

Highlights from the video: Father number one:

"I am a direct descendant of the American slave trade. ... I am not oppressed and I'm not a victim."

He mentioned that he travels all over the U.S. then said,

"I am treated with kindness, dignity, and respect literally from coast to coast. I have three children. They are not oppressed either, although they are victims. I have taught my children they are victims of 3 things. Their own ignorance, their own laziness, and their own poor decision-making. That is all."

"I can think of nothing more damaging to a society than to tell a baby born today that she has grievances against another baby born today simply because of what their ancestors may have done two centuries ago."

Father number two:

"Their job is to teach our kids math, science, biology, literature. That's it. Not ideology. Now you want to push garbage-crap like pronouns?" "You want to push that garbage down my kids' throats, I will make you call my kids king and queen. That's how you will address my son and my daughter. And you look at me, you will call me master. You want [those] pronouns to be in your mouth when you look at me?"

Father number three (he was rushed because he was trying to get all he wanted to say out in the few minutes he was allowed, so some of his sentences trailed off):

"You talk abut critical race theory, which is pretty much going to teach kids how to hate each other." "It's pretty much what it's gonna all come down to. You gonna deliberately teach kids this white kid right here got it better than you because he's white? You gonna purposely tell a white kid, oh, the black people are all down at the foot. How do I have two medical degrees if I'm sitting here oppressed?" "You gonna tell me that somebody who looks like all you white folks kept me from going there? Are you serious? Not one white person ever came to me and said, 'Son, you ain't going to get anywhere because the black people ..." "Black folks are being told by other black folks, 'You ain't going to be able to do nothing out there because them white folks ain't going to let you get nowhere.'" "The white man going to keep you down. Well, how did I get where I am right now?"

Second Coming is Real

Okay, lame title. I couldn't think of a better one.

I think the words below from a true messenger of God bears repeating. This stuff is real. Jesus is real. He is really going to come. From here on out, in the world, it will be less and less fun.

The Lord's return is always a subject He wants us to keep in mind. All the latter-day events that will mark the time for His return will happen in a single generation. (D&C 45:30; JS-M 1:34.) Therefore, when that generation begins to witness the signs of His coming, they should prepare so the return of the Master does not find them abusing others. (Matt. 24:44-51; JS-Matt. 1:49-55.)
. . . 
I am sent as another witness to testify He will return. Signs have been, and are being given both in the heavens and on earth.
. . . 
He has authorized baptism as His own covenant to preserve all who receive it. I have seen His return and I know this newly offered baptism will be respected at His return by those who will return with Him. Baptism is offered as a covenant between you and the Lord. There are no institutional demands made upon you as a result of receiving the ordinance. It is an invitation to renew your relationship with Christ and take an act of faith to show Him you keep Him in your heart.
. . . 
Every nation, kindred, tongue and people, black and white, male and female, young and old, are invited to be baptized. There is no charge, and you make no commitment to men. You only covenant to follow Christ.

He is aligning events to complete His work, and the signs of His return are being given to this generation. The time will soon come when it will not be possible to receive this invitation any longer. Do not procrastinate the day of your repentance.
denversnuffer.com/2015/12/come-unto-christ/

How long is a generation? I don't know that God counts it in years. Speaking of only one genealogical line, I had two generations in Nauvoo: Shadrach and Lorenzo Wesley Roundy. Then, there was Joel Jesse, Sarah Elizabeth, then my mother. Counting from Nauvoo, I am the 4th and 5th generation. (LW-JJ=1 JJ-SE=2 SE-Mom=3 Mom-me=4) 

How to translate that into now, I don't know, but if we take the year the "saints" were kicked out of Nauvoo and subtract it from 2015, then divide it by 4 (generations), we may come up with a general ball park number. However, the time when "it will not be possible to receive this invitation any longer" will probably be sooner than that. If the Book of Mormon is any indication, there comes a time when people cannot repent (because of their mindsets).  They are "past feeling."

I don't know about you, but the possible fact that Jesus could return as early as 40 years from now gives me cause for concern. Who will be ready? Will I? But my concern is more for my loved ones. My children, my siblings and their families, my cousins and other relatives, my friends and acquaintances, even those who seem to be enemies of some sort. 

Would to God that all people might repent, turn to Christ, and follow Him. 
Why must we suffer? 
Why must we harden our hearts? 
Why must we hurt each other? 
Why must we live in fear, anger, vengeance, and contention? 

Let us lift up our hearts together. 
Let us unite in love! 
Let us cease contending. 
Let us cease lifting up ourselves or others on pedestals as one(s) to be heeded above others. 
Let us humbly turn to our Lord, Jesus Christ. 
Let us see ourselves for the fools we really are. 

Holy, holy, holy is the most High - for it is by His grace and His grace alone that we are saved, not by any act of ourselves. 

We may repent, we may accept His awesome grace and incredible mercy, but it is He who has trodden the winepress alone. It is He who has opened the door to our salvation and peace. With all my heart and mind, I throw out into the "ethers" the invitation to come unto Christ, and to be one with Him. Amen.

Thoughts on the Atonement

I was thinking abut the atonement several days ago and wanting to write my thoughts down, but I haven't been able to figure out where or how to write my thoughts. Here and now is as good as anytime or anything. Remember, this came from my own ponderings. This is not official anything.

The atonement happens because we agreed to it. There is no magic about it. (Really, this is a different topic than my last post, though it overlaps somewhat.)

In the premortal world, a plan was presented. The problem was stated. We, as pure and holy beings, knew that if we made mistakes or outright rebelled we would feel so guilty that we could not bear to be in our Father's presence. But we knew we would make mistakes. So, how could we go out on this venture and have a chance to return after the venture was over?

Well, there was a plan presented by the Father God. He said, “I can send one down who is part God and part mortal. Because he has a foot in both worlds, he can bring the two together. He will be the liaison. But I will need to send someone who has been tried and found faithful because - number one - he needs to be without sin. Being part God will genetically predispose him to goodness but the core of his inner soul needs to be such that he will not sin. Your collective faith will do the rest.

“Second, if you agree to give him your sins and your pains, your regrets and your guilt, I will decree a law that such will be so. It will be binding because of the law of common consent. But it will be excruciatingly painful, nearly impossible to bear, even for a God-hybrid. So, we need someone we can trust one hundred percent to go through with it.”

Here, I'm going to skip to what the Pearl of Great Price (Abraham 3:27) calls the second answer, though it is possible that the second answer came in jealousy over the firmness of the volunteer who answered first.

There was a stir among the people of the children of the Father-God as they discussed this. Some didn't think it was fair to make one of their siblings the recipient of everyone's guilt and pain, especially if he was innocent of any guilt at all. Others felt guilty already for causing a sibling so much pain, even though it hadn't happened yet. Others saw that there was really no other way for the problem to be solved.

After much discussion, one spoke up -

“It isn't fair or right that one among us should suffer so unjustly for us all.”

Some nodded and verbalized their agreement.

“I have a better plan,” he said.

“What is it?” asked the Father God.

“I'll go down and be the savior. I will make it so that not one soul will be lost. No one will have to feel guilty over causing excessive pain and trauma to an innocent sibling because sin and error will simply not exist.”

“How do you propose to do that?” asked the Father God.

“When we put the veil of forgetfulness over our eyes, we will also make ourselves pliable and compliant to my will. They will always be obedient because they will be incapable of thinking or speaking or acting in any other way.”

“Your will?”

“Of course. As the author of the plan, the glory is mine. My brilliant plan will prevent the loss of even one soul. I should have the Father's glory because my plan is better. We've got to be progressive here - and compassionate.”

“What do you think of that plan?” the Father God asked his children.

The children discussed it.

“How will we be able to learn and grow and become like Father if we are forced to obey?” asked one.

“Or if we are not given the freedom to even think?” asked another.

“How can we learn from our mistakes if we don't make any?” asked still another.

“Look, you're not going to be forced to do anything,” the plan-giver replied. “Force implies choice. You won't be forced. You will have chosen here, therefor your choice has not been trampled upon.

“Listen, you won't want to rebel or do anything wrong. That's the beauty of it. Force doesn't even enter the picture. Not only will all of you return to Father, but you won't be the cause of excruciating pain to anyone. Do you really want Father to slaughter one of his children because you were too selfish to accept my plan?”

There was more discussion. Finally a vote was taken. The majority chose the Father's plan.

“So, who shall I send?” he asked again.

“Me, of course,” said the plan-giver, planning to push his plan through after he was chosen. “As the eldest it is my right.”

“I will go,” said another. “Send me.”

“What of my glory?” asked the Father God.

“I don't want your glory. I want what is best for my siblings. I want them to be free to direct their lives, and to be able to change course when they screw up.”

“But youare not the eldest,” pointed out the plan-giver.¹“Thus you have no right to be the savior of your siblings.”

“I will send you,” said the Father God.

“Me?” asked the plan-giver.

“No,”said the Father. “I am sending the one who will sacrifice himself.”

The plan-giver didn't take that too well. The rejection agitated in his soul. Eventually, he rebelled and decided to take his Father's kingdom by force. That didn't work out too well for him, and for his efforts, he was cast out of the kingdom.

So, the atonement is wrought by a law given with our common consent. Our very hearts are intertwined in the way the atonement works, with how it was set up.

When the judgment day arrives, we will not be ignorant of our part in choosing the plan that included a sacrificial offering. If we have chosen to give all of our sins to Christ, we will have honored our commitment to the plan and we will know it. The honor in our souls (in spite of what we may have done or become here) is what holds up the plan. The law that was made during the planning to which we gave our common consent still lives in each of our hearts.

This has not been a very good description of what I have been pondering. The gist is -

1. We knew that we would feel too horrible to return to God's presence if we made even one mistake.
   
   
2. We agreed to the sacrifice. Without our common consent, it would not have been put in place.
   
   
3. The faith of the faithful, the fact that Jesus was a God hybrid, and Jesus' own natural personality are what made it possible for him to live without sin and to complete the atonement.
   
   
4. Putting our sins on Jesus was something we chose, that's why it is possible to put our sins on him. We simply re-choose what we once chose. Very simple. Too simple for those who want to think of the atonement as something too deep and too mysterious to understand.

The mechanics of how the sins were put upon Jesus is something I have not yet understood.

I wish I could say more, but I am unable to put the rest of my ponderings into words, even in my own mind. I am hoping that my bumbling way to express what little I can is helpful and uplifting to someone, though.

1 I get this idea from the scriptures where it is often the younger brother who rules over the elder, even in the case of twins like Esau and Jacob. For the purpose of my thoughts, the scenario is that they are twins, with one just barely older than the other - though birth order as we know it probably does not exist in heaven. The plan-giver probably lost the “Firstborn status” he would have had if he had been chosen.

I'm a Mormon

Inspired by this and this and this post, I decided to add my own testimony of assorted things.

I'm a Mormon. I'm a Mormon who has a brother who began to research church history when I was about eleven years old. Pretty much all of our ancestors, except for the Swedish line, came from Nauvoo. Some of the things my brother told me about church history were far from faith-promoting. As a young adult, I had several friends who began to learn about the history we don't hear at church; they also began “searching for the mysteries”. All of these (my friends and my brother) left the church. I didn't. I was pretty good at “putting [things] on the shelf” and, besides that, I was acutely aware that the biggest mystery in my life was to know myself and overcome the sins that so easily beset me. I had no desire for any deeper mystery (and wasn't even sure that the mysteries my friends were seeking were the mysteries the scriptures were talking about).

I also read many “anti-Mormon” books. (It has been over thirty years since I've read them, so I don't remember a whole lot of specific examples from them.) I noticed several things about the ones I read:

First, there were a lot of “must have beens” thrown in. Sometimes it was a real stretch of logic to come to those conclusions. I saw no reason why something “must have been” from the evidence given. I could think of other “could have beens”.

Second, the books contradicted themselves. One example that I can think of right now is the book written by one of Brigham Young's wives. He lusted after her, she said. He was really wanting her sexually, the dirty old man. But, lo and behold, many pages later we find out that he married her. And her chief complaint was that he never (apparently not even once) had sex with her. Hm. So which accusation is true? If he lusted after her so much, wouldn't her complaint be that she couldn't make him stay away from her? Her other chief complaint was that he wouldn't give her money. She expected him to support her. In fact, it appeared that the only reason she married him was for money and prestige. In any case, she was bummed that he only gave her a house she could use for a rooming house to bring in her own money. Actually, that way, she wouldn't have to be dependent on him, begging for money – but that is a perception that was not appreciated until much later in American history.

Third, harmless things were depicted as horrendously evil. Joseph Smith was a money-digger. That means he dug for gold and such. Oooh, spawn of the devil, indeed! So, what does that make all of those people who followed the gold into California and Alaska? What does that make people in the past and present who mine for gold, silver, copper, diamonds, and so forth? And he believed in superstitious things. You know, things that we are far too “superior” to believe in today. Incredible, isn't it? He had faith in things unseen, like a child does until it “knows better”. I doubt angels and Gods could have appeared to someone too “sophisticated” and “advanced” to believe it possible.

Fourth, truths were depicted as lies straight from hell. For example, the doctrine that humans can, through repentance and the grace of God, eventually become gods, themselves. Yes, the devil told Eve that if she ate the fruit that she would become like the Gods, in that she would know good from evil. The devil was right; he just neglected to tell her that it was through excruciating pain that she would learn the difference. But, seriously, if God tells a truth, who was Joseph, and who is the church, to change the truth into a lie to make it palatable to the world at large?

Fifth, there were some outright lies. The woman who stated some things were never taught (like Jesus was never mentioned when she went to primary), ever. But, of course, she fell into the category of contradicting herself. She knew exactly what the “Mormon” church taught every Sunday even though she admitted in another part of the book that she rarely went. It reminds me of the woman I met on my mission who told me how evil the Book of Mormon was. When I asked her if she had ever read it, the answer was no. She'd never read such an evil book and she never intended to read it. Strange how she would know so much more than me about a book she had never read, but that I had read several times.

The books, I noticed, would suck people in on an emotional level. Once that happened, you'd be “good and angry” so that the inconsistencies and idiocies in the book would go unnoticed by your rational mind.

On my mission, my foundation got knocked out from under me, and I realized it had been based on being surrounded by an LDS environment. In Michigan, that environment was not there. So, my base of faith began to be built up again, being based on something other than environment.

Recently, I came across a book called, “Passing the Heavenly Gift”. I thought I could handle it, in light of my brother, friends, and the books I'd read. There were many parts of the book I didn't like. There were a couple of experiences I read that I could have gone my whole life without knowing, and I would have been fine and dandy about it. But the book lacked the anti-Mormon qualities. I don't recall any “must have beens”. I saw no contradictions. Things one might have considered “horrendously evil” were explained. Truths were depicted as true. There was nothing that I could see was a lie. And the best thing was that I could take Brigham Young off the shelf. I'm not any more impressed with him than I have been since I was 11 or 12, but I can accept him as a “legal” or bona fide leader now. He is no longer an enigma to me.

Oh, I've got to mention this: I recognized immediately that I am one of the “proud descendents of Nauvoo” and the label didn't bother me one whit. I am what I am. I was glad to wake up. I was glad to see things in a better light, even if it showed me that my ancestors were not quite as worthy to be worshipped as I had been taught. That doesn't diminish their suffering. It doesn't diminish their humanness. I don't think them worthy of anger or resentment. I'm not so sure I would have done any better if I had been in their shoes.

I like the original plan of letting every member of the LDS church believe the way they understand the gospel to be, instead of trying to force each member into a unified box, or having a secret committee like the Strengthening the Members Committee. I like the idea of letting my son have ear plugs if he wants them. I like the idea of a variety of clothing on the men each Sunday. Some men look terrific with beards and/or a mustache. I like the idea of being able to meet with friends to discus the gospel without an “authorized priesthood leader” around to make sure we aren't going “apostate”. I like the idea of seeing someone at church with a tattoo and admiring the beauty if it is an artistic drawing. I like the idea of accepting each other as children of God when we don't fit some preconceived and arbitrary mold. I have known demons who “dressed the dress” and appeared to “walk the walk” and “talk the talk”. I have known angels who not only didn't “look the part” but who were not members of my religion (or were not active members of it). (For the curious, I am speaking of mortals, not actual unembodied demons nor of angels from the presence of God.)

I love my God. I love my Savior. Jesus Christ has rescued me from hell. When He has sent true messengers, He has told me they were His if I asked. He has been opening my mind to the fact that we are all on equal ground, that not one person is better than another. True messengers are not to be worshipped nor idolized nor feared nor strictly obeyed. The message is to be listened to, heeded and probably strictly obeyed, but only after God has let us know it is a true message. Sometimes that message is not comfortable. Sometimes it tells us our thinking has been all wrong. But the honor and the glory go to the Man who has sent the message, not the one who has delivered it.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Jesus' church. It was restored through a bona fide prophet of God who was not only imperfect, but never made a pretense of perfection.

The leaders the church have now are bona fide leaders. They are there through our common consent. They are thus eligible for inspiration and revelation when it comes to guiding the church. Like Joseph Smith, they are imperfect, and should not make a pretense of perfection. If they have given anyone the idea that they are perfect and that every action they have and every word they speak is as if God, Himself, has spoken and acted I would think they would feel sorrow for that worship of men.

Jesus has not deserted this church. As far as I know, He has not deserted any soul who lives upon the face of this earth. He speaks to anyone who will listen, no matter what religion they espouse.

Test of Fire - Election 2012

This is an awesome video a friend shared with me. Feel free to share it (they want it shared).

So are we willing to be good fruit?

 I have been reading Denver Snuffer's posts on Jacob 5 (Denversnuffer.blogspot.com). He has given me some enlightenment on the subject. (He's good for noticing some details that I do not; that makes it very useful for him to be around.)

I was particularly struck with a couple of things he said in his post today. I knew there was a scripture that fit, and I found it. For your information, I include the things that struck me, and the scripture that fits them.

Proud and vain men strut about proclaiming how special they and their cultic-following are before God, while God pleads for our repentance, humility and willingness to return to Him.

If our present form of "Zion" wasn't "prospering" then we might be more acutely aware of our sickness, sores, disease and stench. We use the measuring rod of Babylon and conclude we are among the greatest of people rather than the standard of heaven against which we are loathsome, bitter fruit.

17  Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked
(New Testament | Revelation 3:17)

Brother Snuffer is often very pessimistic. For this reason, he reminds me of Jeremiah who seemed to be a prophet of woe. I expect he (DS) has good reason for his pessimism. But my question is this: Do we, individually, have to be a fulfillment of that pessimism?

You see, along with the pessimism, is the promise that we can be the exception. We can turn to God, individually. We can humble ourselves. We can sincerely ask God to teach us, to open our eyes, to wake us up. Whether or not it will take a hundred or more years to build a real Zion, each of us can choose to be "Zion" in ourselves.

I suppose we may still have to live in Babylon. I really don't know if or when God would take a person out of Babylon, physically. I am still on my journey. I have never seen angels or Jesus outside of dreams, so I don't think I qualify as one who has attained Zion within myself, hence I do not know the answer to this.

Waking up is a bit painful. As God distances me from what I formerly believed was true, I find that I find it repulsive that even one soul remains deceived. I wish with all my heart that people would take the Holy Spirit for their guide, that they would cease idolizing men and organizations and look to Christ only, for their salvation.

Even though it is painful, I cannot go back. I don't want to go back. I want to continue forward until I have completely left Babylon and have found the face of Christ. And I want to continue on until I am as pure a Zion person as it is possible for me to be.

I want to encircle everyone in the love of God, open their eyes, pull them out of the traps they are unknowingly (and willingly) in, and thus stop the devil's power on this planet.

The person each of us should be working on is ourselves. We cannot change another person. We have no right to insist that anyone live their lives according to our dictates. We pray for them. We speak to them according to the whisperings of the Spirit (and we'd better make sure it is the Spirit of God; not the spirit of vanity, fear, pride, or the devil). We are, most of all, examples to them of true believers in Jesus Christ - not true believers in a man, but in Christ.

This is not to say that we hide our heads in the sand. I believe we should acknowledge the falsehoods and wrongdoing that is around us, even in the leaders, but I don't know that it is wise to dwell on them. I do believe it will be all we can do to center our energies on coming to Christ in the flesh. That should be our focus, not the behavior of others. When we have seen Him face to face, and have felt the wounds, and have been redeemed from the fall, then we can find out what else we should do.

Freedom to Choose

So, I've been thinking about freedom to choose. The adversary has hidden and covered up our freedom to choose, thus we are blind-sided by lies. Teachings of society, of government, of parents, of schools, of religion control us to varying degrees. Our own experiences and wounds teach us lies, put into us a lack of knowing how free to choose we really are.

For example, if I'm feeling negative about someone or something, I can choose to feel differently. If I choose to – Well, if I've been taught that some things just “are” -

like certain things (health-wise) cannot be healed

like childbirth has to hurt

like unassisted birth is dangerous (what did Eve do?)

like leaders are always right

like women should be subservient to men (or vice versa)

like life has to be painful

like we have a God-given mandate to condemn and reject those who sin differently than we do

like God is a harsh taskmaster

like we have to suffer because we can learn in no other way

like we understand the gospel better today than Joseph Smith did

like Joseph Smith lived polygamy but pretended not to

like we are humongously more intelligent than those who lived thousands of years ago

(and I could go on and on)

Well, if I believe all of that I just might not realize that all of those things are choices, not truths.

Who says I cannot humble my own self and learn God's ways without going through hell to learn and to become?

Who says that birth is inherently dangerous and painful?

Who says that I have to live the ways of Babylon, even while it surrounds me?

Who says I cannot be perfect in this life? Isn't the Atonement there to create perfection in us?

You can cite general authorities, medical authorities, scientific authorities, scriptures, and movie stars but that does not mean I have to believe you – or them. The only thing I should believe completely are the words spoken to me via the Holy Ghost. Even pure scripture can be misunderstood and misapplied.

We are supposed to be preparing to live in Zion, for heaven's sake! We should not be living as people have lived for thousands of years! The society we should be living in has perfect health. It has righteousness so perfect that Satan has no power. Everything we ask God to do, He does. We see Jesus often. In fact, no one says, “Know ye the Lord, because they all know him.”

No doctors. No lawyers. No police. No government officials. No church hierarchy that stands between us and God. No locks. No slave labor giving us cars, computers, and other toys. No fear in birth or in death.

We cannot magically and instantly become the type of person who can live in that society when the end of this era comes. By then, it is too late. Each of us who wants to be there has to be that person now! Otherwise, we will die with the wicked when that sort of living is ushered in by Christ and his angels. Now!

Change the paradigm and you've changed the person. Change the person and you've changed those around him/her (some may choose to leave because they are uncomfortable around a person with such an unusual and strange perception),

We are so steeped in Babylon that we don't even know that something else exists. And when it comes to our attention, we often reject it because such radical change makes us nervous; it frightens us.

I have seen people who are determined that, in the Millennium of Peace, there will be cars, computers, electricity, airplanes, and all of the other comforts and toys we have today. Who is going to be the slave labor for these things? Why would any of these things be necessary?

I submit that the non-Babylonian way to live is very simple. We get places by walking. If we need to travel a long distance, we go by Light (notice the words that sometimes accompany descriptions of seeing Jesus, Moroni, other angels). If we wear clothing at all, I expect it will be very simple – and easy enough for anyone to make. But, remember, we are supposed to be ultimately entering a garden in Eden state; they wore no clothing, and there is no mention of a house, either.

To our eyes, the ideal way to live may very well look extremely primitive. We might turn away because we refuse to believe in the absence of

money

razors

jewelry

vehicles

airplanes

fine clothing

fancy shoes

suits and ties

briefcases

electricity

fine buildings

formal schools of learning

formal, organized religion with lots of rules

computers

radios

washing machines

ipods

and so forth.

We are so steeped in Babylon that not only do we not have a clue that a better way exists, but if or when we see the other way, we often reject it out-of-hand. When are we going to turn to God with all of our hearts and souls and be willing to give up all we have and believe so that we may enter Zion? For myself, I am attempting to leave Babylon behind. I am actively doing all I can to open up my willingness to give up every Babylonian paradigm that is in me.

Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil

I found something I had printed out a long time ago from Arts Anonymous (http://www.artsanonymous.org/). It's a twelve step program.

I became inspired to adapt it to my own particular challenges. This morning, as I was going through what I had written, I had an insight that I'd like to share. Take it or leave it.

In the temple, we are supposed to liken the whole experience to ourselves, and view it as an allegory full of symbolism.

The tree of knowledge is the tree of knowledge of evil and of pain. The only “good” that comes from it is seeing how good you had it before you screwed up.

So, God has one tree. The devil has another. God says, “Don't believe Satan's lies. Don't live that way. It will hurt you.”

The devil says, “No, this is the way it has to be. This is reality.”

So, we are taught to take that fruit and we look at the fruit of the tree of life with skewed eyes. We say, “God can perform miracles, except He can't. In reality, He can only 'bless the hands of the doctors' who are the real gods.” And that is only one of 10,000 skewed perceptions we have about life, about God, about reality, and about ourselves.

In the beginning, we are innocent children. Innocence is taken away. In my case, it began when I was about 3 ½ and was kidnapped. Later, my siblings added verbal cruelty, then my peers. The medical profession and society had been working on me all along. I wasn't handed bad fruit by just one person, but by hundreds. I was bombarded with fruit from the tree of knowledge of evil. And, of course, I in turn passed it on to others.

And I was told that I had to stay in that sphere. I was told, “This is reality.”

There is no mention of burning down or annihilating the tree of evil and partaking of the tree of life only. No, we are shown that an angel has barred the way. But that is garbage! We are barred by the act of continuing to partake of the lies and myths that took away our innocence. We may not be able to annihilate the tree of darkness and death, but we can turn away from it.

The angel represents the goodness we must face, the changes in perception we must make before we are able to partake of life again. As long as we are partaking of death, we cannot partake of life. This is what is meant by the angel “guarding the way.”

We may freely put forth our hands to partake of the tree of life, but we have got to stop partaking of the tree of death to do so. It is impossible to partake of both at the same time.

So, we kick ourselves out of the light. We lose our innocence, light, and trust because we are taught by family and by society that it is proper to partake of the tree of death, and of that tree only. We are taught by those who don't know any better because they were taught by their families and their societies.

For myself, I am now only too willing to stop partaking of the tree of death and to begin partaking of the tree of life.

The Culture of Heaven

So, what is the culture of Heaven? I think if we were suddenly immersed in it, we would have a major culture shock.

Some of what we can be pretty sure of is that people don't go around hurting each other, stealing from each other, or cussing at each other. But we are so far removed from Heaven that we really haven't a clue about anything else.

If we were living exactly as God would have us live, borrowing His culture, what would our culture be like? Would we be coercing each other to wear a certain style of clothing? Would we be concerned with one's jewelry and how that person attached that jewelry to one's body?

If we were so close in culture to the culture of heaven, what sort of clothing would we wear? Would it be woven from animal hair or plants or would it be a substance of light?^[1]  What would we live in? How would we think? How would it be to live in a society with no need for a police force, an army, locksmiths, lawyers, hospitals, doctors? How would our babies be born? How would we raise our children? What would it be like to live where no one makes laws or creates rules and regulations, but trusts that we have the brains to make our own decisions?

If we had buildings, how would we build them? What would celebrations be like? Would we have them? What would we do all day?

You know, I don't really know enough about what I'm asking to ask the questions I want to ask. These questions I've written all fall short, but I don't know exactly how or why.

What is the culture of heaven? Are we not supposed to find out? Are we not supposed to be having angels of God appearing to us? Are we not supposed to be having dreams and visions? Are we not supposed to see healing of every kind, instead of limping to healers of the mortal persuasion (medical doctors, natural doctors, etc.)?

I want to know. I want to know how I should think if I'm to approach the culture of heaven without culture shock. I want to know how I'm supposed to act, how I'm supposed to think. I believe scriptures, especially a careful and prayerful and open study of the Book of Mormon will give answers to the behavior parts, and even to the thinking parts, to a degree, but I believe that the deepness I'm seeking can only come by direct communication with heaven.

Sometimes I have dreams from God. Sometimes I immediately know the meaning as I'm waking up. Other times I know it's from God but I have to study on what it is I'm supposed to get from it.

I want the culture of heaven. I want the understanding of heaven. I want all who are willing, to be part of this culture of heaven. I don't want one soul to walk in darkness or pain (causing it or being victimized by it). I want to become and once I have become, I want to shout to the skies to bring others that they may also become.

^[1] And it shall come to pass that I, the Lord God, will send one mighty and strong, holding the scepter of power in his hand, clothed with light for a covering, whose mouth shall utter words, eternal words; while his bowels shall be a fountain of truth, to set in order the house of God, and to arrange by lot the inheritances of the saints whose names are found, and the names of their fathers, and of their children, enrolled in the book of the law of God

(Doctrine and Covenants | Section 85:7)

What Motivates You?

I have been reading The Artist's Way, again. It was written by Julia Cameron. My copy is marked up and the corners of the pages are getting ratty. Whenever I see a copy, I get it. I gave one to my daughter, and I gave one to a good friend of mine. I think I may still have one. I also have read every book by Barbara Sher that I can get hold of.

Barbara Sher asks, “What motivates you?” She wants it written on a card. So, reading her book yet again, I did so. In reading through my motivators often, I was struck with one thing on that list of what motivates me.

The biggest motivator I have is the freedom to do as I please. I suppose that sounds horrible. I was trained by society that it was horrible. We are supposed to please society, you know, and some things just aren't done, like doing work your soul craves. We are supposed to make money, do things that are financially acceptable. We are supposed to work for someone else. We are not supposed to have fun working.

I suppose that is why I am, only now, waking up to my biggest motivator. If I know that I can do anything, that nothing holds me back, then I “go for it”. If I have the freedom to really do anything I please, then one of the things I please to do is write.

I thought I had given up writing. Gone past it. Until I decided to get serious about this blog. Then I discovered that writing is still in my blood. It's in my bones. It's in my flesh, and in my spirit. That's why I'm sharing my stories without charge in my other blogs (linked to this one). Stories were meant to be shared, not to hide in a hole with a cover slid over the top.

Other things I would do if I had the freedom to do anything:

I would learn at least seven languages fluently. Right now, I dabble in languages. Dabble is the key word. I would love to become fluent.

I know French best, but fear I have forgotten much of what I once learned. My next best foreign language is Spanish, and I know for a fact that I have forgotten nearly everything I learned, which wasn't much anyway. (I used to pronounce it so well when I read it, though, that Spanish-speakers could hardly believe that I really didn't know what they were talking about.) I have dabbled in Chinese (I only hear the tones once in a while), Irish Gaelic, Sign Language and Swedish. Less so, in Russian, Italian, and Japanese. Some dialects of England's English is like a foreign language, but then so is Southern American at times, and I'm sure my Western American is confusing to them as well.

When I was somewhere around ten years old, a friend of my sister's who was blind (Dave Murray) gave me a braille writer and stylus. At least, I think that's where I got it from. I learned a tiny bit, but had lost the braille writer and stylus by the time I went to college. I would love to add that to my languages.

The trouble is, I don't feel that “freedom to do anything and everything” when it comes to studying languages. It's like eating ice cream and watching television all day. It isn't real work, because it doesn't bring in money. (It is real work, in that it is difficult – but it is a fun difficult.) It is only acceptable to do if I am paying someone thousands upon thousands of dollars to teach me (like a university), even though it wouldn't be nearly as fun as doing it on my own. I know, logically, that this particular attitude makes no sense, but I'm not sure how to overcome it.

Another thing I would do is draw all day. I would write all day. I would draw all day. I would learn languages all day (especially if I had someone who knew them, who would speak them with me). I would sing. I would dance (even though my body is pretty slow when it comes to learning anything like dance steps). That's more than 24 hours worth of doing in 24 hours.

So, what is your desire? What would you do all day if you could? What motivates you? What feels like play to you, even if it is difficult for you to do?