Thoughts that came about as a result of the storm Helene

 And plagues shall go forth, and they shall not be taken from the earth until I have completed my work, which shall be cut short in righteousness, until all shall know me who remain, even from the least unto the greatest, and shall be filled with the knowledge of the Lord, and shall see eye to eye, and shall lift up their voice, and with the voice together sing . . . .

T&C 88:7 - D&C 84:97

The earth surely seems to be in commotion. All sorts of things happening that are not good. I've been seeing a lot in regards to the decimation and loss of life in the southeastern United States. And I'm seeing some things I haven't seen before.

First: I have not seen such devastation in my lifetime as has happened there.

Second: I am seeing lots of calls for prayers from the victims and those who care about them. "If you can help with supplies, please do so, and if you can't, please pray for us."

Third: As seems typical, a certain alphabet agency is hindering people from helping - but, this time, people are finding ways around them. I mean physically getting around them. I think it's a combination of compassion, determination, and God's help.

Fourth: The downplaying in the media (I don't blame them; they are only as good as the info they're fed) is offset by the fact that individuals own cell phones. Power may have been out (and is still out in many places), but some people have generators. Some people have some electricity. Some people can connect to satellite internet (think Starlink), which made it possible for others to contact people outside the devastated area. And, people in the areas are reporting a whole lot more death than we have been told.

I can give nothing physically to help these people, but I can pray. And I have been praying most sincerely, fervently, with single-mindedness. I have been praying for the people who are suffering, that they get the relief they so desperately need, and that they are comforted by God and angels and that their hearts are turned to rely on God. I have been praying that God bless the people who are determined to get needed supplies in, that God fight their battles like he did so many times with the Nephites against the Lamanites. And, this morning, I felt such incredible power in my prayers, sobbing in sorrow for the suffering and also sobbing in joy and gratitude for those stepping up to give concrete help in spite of the obstacles. And I believe that the power I felt came and comes from the thousands (perhaps even millions) of other people praying the same prayers.

I have also prayed that God give this country (and Canada, if I'm being honest) another chance. That he put in whatever candidate that he sees can be humble and teachable, and that God will protect (or continue to protect, if it is Trump, as many seem to think he's God's man) and help that person to live in God instead of his own ego or blindness and fears, so that he can be a factor in giving us more time to truly repent.

 I have begged God to make the Covenant of Christ (modern-day translation of the Book of Mormon, for those who don't know) flood this country, then flood Canada and the rest of the world, so that another honest chance at repentance can be given

 There is no scripture, anywhere, that says only a tiny amount righteous people are going to be alive when the Lord comes again. In fact, reading Jacob's retelling of the parable of the olive tree leads me to believe that there will (or could be) a great many people who are good fruit (the wicked/bad fruit are destroyed by degrees, so that the good fruit can become strong). I'm talking about the whole planet here. Also, Nephi (son of Lehi, in the Book of Mormon/Covenant of Christ) saw many places all over the planet where the people were armed with righteousness and God's glory.

So, let's take heart. Let's join together in faith, whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever faith you might or might not espouse. Let's join together in God. Let's let this ground roots movement of loving and caring for others take root in our own hearts and minds. Let us repent in sackcloth and ashes so that the whole of America can become Zion, so that the whole of Earth can become united in compassion and caring and love.

And let us be faithful to God while the cleansing is taking place, even while we mourn for those innocents who may be taken in the process. Surely, those who are not worthy of destruction will be claimed by angels and taken to God's bosom if they die in what has happened and what will happen.

Let us pray for the Power of God to be with us, as well as with those who are presently doing their best to provide relief. Let us pray with deepest humility and sincerity that we are no longer blinded by pride or devils or darkness. Let us cast aside all we think makes us more enlightened or better than others. Compared to God, all of us are idiot fools who know zilch.

Please! I pray for our (this earth's) collective repentance and mighty change of heart, that we face toward God and be filled with God's power, that God protect us with his power as we struggle to overcome the vast wickedness that is determined to bring this country (USA) to its knees to drown in the mire, and as we struggle to overcome the vast wickedness that has infested every country on this planet, as if the planet were a garbage dump and those controlling it were rats, spreading disease and death with everything they touch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Your Prayers Aren't Working

I watched this video by Matt Walsh a few days ago (the title of this post is the title of the video). I found his advice on prayer to be quite enlightening. I have not prayed on my knees much lately, except for during sacrament (bread and wine) prayers. Listening to Matt's words, and following his advice did seem to bring me closer to God during my prayers.

A Day of Fasting and Prayer

I am making today a day of fasting and prayer for the peaceful protestors who are being treated violently by their respective governments. The idea came to me as I was praying for the peaceful protestors in Ottawa who are being treated violently, and the protestors in other countries. Apparently, the local police force was not willing to do so, so Trudeau brought in mercenary police from other parts of Canada to torment and inflict violence on the truckers, their supporters, their wives, children, and animals. The mercenaries even trampled a disabled woman on a scooter (there are photos on the internet showing her and her scooter on the ground).

Canada has tried to hide it by preventing Canadians from uploading videos to YouTube and other places, but some people have their IP addresses hidden, so things get out anyway. Australia also has been doing what it can to prevent people from sharing their protests that have violent police retaliation, so little is known about what is going on there. And there are other countries where people are tired of the insanity and of the dictatorships they currently live under (which, 2 1/2 years ago, did not exist - or didn't seem to exist). Their protests are also being hidden. Media will not cover these protests, unless they give it a spin to lie about what is actually happening, but mostly mainstream media is silent.

As I saw a short video of Canadian protestors kneeling in prayer yesterday, it reminded me of the converted Lamanites who kneeled and prayed, even as their enemies came upon them and started killing them. It also reminded me of the wicked city Ammonihah, who chased out the men then killed the women and children. God destroyed that city in one day. Not one soul was left alive.

And, this morning, as I was raising my voice in prayer to God along with whoever else might be praying about this tyranny all over the planet, it occurred to me to spend the day in fasting and prayer, and I invite whoever reads this to join me. Even if you can't do it today, or you read this on another day, I invite you to join me when you can do it. If you cannot go without food, find some other sacrifice you can offer the Lord as you focus on begging God to end the tyranny that is happening in so many countries.

The ordinary man and woman are trying - have been trying for a long time now - to stand up, to change rules in their so-called free countries where the people are supposed to be the ones choosing the leaders.

I pray that the wicked leaders of these countries (and the countries that don't pretend to give freedom to their citizens) and the wicked men/women who are actually pulling the strings are destroyed by the power of God (whether they are official politicians or not), unless God can pull them down into the depths of hell in this life, so that they might repent and change, and be saved at the last day.

Please join me. Please join all of us who are fasting and praying that God will step in. 

 God goes by many names. You can be any religion at all (or no religion at all) and join in this fasting and prayer. Let's spread this all over the planet, so that millions and maybe billions of prayers are going up into the ears of the Creator of this planet.

Edit: I am fasting from food. I believe that all fasts should include water. I believe that when Jesus fasted for 40 days, he still drank water. The devil tempted him with food, not water.

Original Testimony of Ian McCormack - Jesus is Real, Heaven and Hell are Real

A friend brought Ian McCormack to my attention around 9 years ago. I looked him up again today, to rehear his experience.

It's one of those "I died" experiences, but not one of those "I saw awesome end-of-the-world things, and now I'm a great prophet because of it," things. I don't know if that has changed. I don't know what he's doing now, but up until about 6 years ago, he was still a humble man, as far as I could tell.

I'm sharing his first (1988) testimony, but before you scroll down to it, I think it's important to read what Ian McCormack said in regards to this first video (the same words are in the description on YouTube under the video). What he said is below, and the video is below that. Enjoy.

Notes on this 1988 video from Ian :

I have spoken my testimony thousands of times and sadly I make mistakes .... but that does not, I believe, take away from the story ... other than the fact that we all can do it ... either accidently or on purpose ... or if you don't want to share all the details you can cut some things out in an attempt to condense the story because of time restraints / energy levels ....

When I first publically shared my testimony in 1988 in New Zealand the people at the meeting wanted to record it ... but I didn't want any one to do it because I felt it was something you shared personally rather than through media { I have since changed my mind on that } ... But one of the people at the meeting had a family member who was dying in a hospital and so they wanted them to hear it as they couldn't come to the meeting in this farmers house.

I found it abit unnerving with a mike & video camera in front of me and because the experience took place in 1982 and so it was now 6 - 7 years later I was reliving it while I spoke. It was very emotional for me ... and realize later that I had made a couple of mistakes while sharing it .... and I knew that when I loaded it up on the web for free along with all the other videos I have put up over the years .

So on the 1988 video I did say that I woke up and they were about to wheel me off to the morgue ... I remember how nervous I was that day and was wondering if anyone would believe me, if I said I had been dead and woke up in the morgue ... so I do remember distinctly trying to tone it down ....

But in reality I had woken up & I was already in the morgue ... They had moved my dead body from the Accident & Emergency when I died to the mortuary section of the hospital ... and it was a completely different doctor that was working on me. He was pricking the base of my foot with a scalpel. And when the nurses saw me wake up & come back to life, they ran in fear .... not exactly something they would do if I had only been in a coma ....

Our Compassionate God

Recently, I was staying in a hotel in Boise, Idaho with a friend. Our room was directly across from the guests' laundry room. On one side of our room were the stairs. On the other was the room of the ladies who had given me a ride to Boise. Sunday morning, my friend left to go home (had pressing business that prevented her from staying the full weekend). That afternoon, the ladies and I were going to meet some people for lunch.

I was in my room, pretty much killing time, when I heard what seemed like a year old baby throwing a fit. I didn't hear adults and supposed they were ignoring the child. A few minutes later, I opened my door to go out and right next to the door, pressed into it, was a two year old toddler, screaming and crying hysterically. I glanced into the laundry room as I picked her up. It was empty. I had felt incredible compassion for the child the moment I'd opened the door, and I told her, "We'll find your mom." She stopped being hysterical, but was still upset. I knocked on the ladies' door, and when I did, the toddler calmed down even more. When the door was opened, I explained what had happened and that I was going to take the child to the office (front desk) to see if they could find her mom. The ladies went with me downstairs and, on the elevator ride, one of them coaxed out of the child that she was two years old (she never spoke the whole time she was with us).

When we got to the front desk, I explained what had happened, and told them it was on the second floor. One of the ladies behind the desk came around and held her arms out to the child. The child hesitated for a nano-second. You could see her deciding if she could trust this person. Then she leaned over and reached out to the lady.

After we got back from lunch, we inquired at the front desk. Was the mom found? The man there had just begun his shift not long before. He said he had not seen the child, but had heard others talking about the incident, and, yes, the mom had been found.

Later that evening, I was talking to God, and he told me, "The child is a sign to you." He told me that the compassion I'd felt for the child was the same compassion he felt for me when I was hysterically scream-crying out to him because of being homeless (or threatened with it), not having enough food to eat, worried about other problems, or just plain having a freak-out attack for no reason that I knew of. He also let me know that just as I had taken immediate steps to solve the toddler's problem when I realized what was happening, so he, also, took steps to alleviate my suffering when I was freaking out.

I am sharing this experience because he told me to. He told me that this compassion he feels toward me is the same compassion he feels toward everyone. Our sincere prayers are always heard, even if we don't see immediate results.

Questions about the "newly revealed account of John the Beloved’s Testimony of Jesus the Messiah"

I finished reading the document last night, and am rereading it again today, highlighting things in it to help me focus and ponder


I have questions I would like to take to the Lord in regards to some of the things in that document. For example: Peter says he's going to ascend to the deep. Can't be the ocean because that's a descent (even though the current Bible translations have it that he decides to go fishing; I expect the people putting the NT together had no idea what this story was talking about so they edited it to "make more sense").

Ascend - go up
Deep - deep space? Someplace deep anyhow

Ark? What ark? Where? A spaceship? A portal to the heavens? If we saw it, would we immediately think "ark" or would we think "elevator" or something else?

Jesus stood at the sacred entry, and it was at the horizon of the morning star that he did this. Were they on the horizon on earth? Were they actually in space? How did they do this ascent on their own? Did Jesus teach them some woo-woo things so that they knew how to leave this dimension and go into another?

They didn't recognize Jesus at first because his glory was so bright. That's probably the only thing in this part that I can almost-fully understand.

Ritual meal I'm guessing is the sacrament. The Lord asks, "Have you had the sacrament?" (so, they could have hung out there for a while with no celestial beings coming around, since they could have had time to have the ritual meal before the Lord got there?) Then he tells them to approach the veil to the east and they'll find what they're looking for. So, what was it they were looking for?

Are they in a temple? They can't be in the apostate Jewish temple because they've probably been excommunicated and, after killing God's son, I expect heaven wouldn't have a "portal" there anymore. The veil is on the east. Is there another one on the west or south or north or all three?

They approached the veil and were overcome by the multitude of what was received. I expect that is referring to knowledge and understanding, probably things that cannot be written because there's no way they'd know how to put it into words.

Then, John tells Peter that it's the Lord who's talking to them. Peter puts on clothes because he "did not wear the apparel." What apparel? The clothing we see in our temples today? If literal, why did he need to put on clothing? Were all of the others wearing clothing? Ceremonial clothing is what I am supposing. But he needed to wear it, apparently, before he could approach the Lord? Where did he get the clothing? Did he bring it with him? Was it just laying around near the door of the ark? Were they already wearing "the apparel," but he took his off?

Peter cast himself into the great deep (remember, this is up, not down), but the others entered the ark and parted the veil because they were not bound by the limits of this world. So, before then, they had not actually entered the ark? Nor parted the veil? And Peter, being impetuous, didn't just part the veil, but jumped in wholeheartedly (somehow, I picture a friend, Daryl, when I see Peter doing this).

Not being bound by the limits of this world they can defy gravity? Or is it entering a different dimension? Or both?
"... they saw a fire burning at the offering place and the Flesh Offering was upon it, who is also the Bread of Life." What does this quote mean? Jesus was upon the fire? He was upon the offering place? He was the fire?

Eat the food of the rising sun, Jesus says, then gives them his flesh and blood. Is it literally flesh? Literally blood? Bread and wine? Something else? Why is it called the food of the rising sun instead of the food of the Rising Son?

This document is so dang deep I can't see why people are so busy arguing about it (especially against it). It seems to me that the most effective use of this thing is to study it, ponder it, and ask God what it's talking about.

I am reminded of Lemuel and Laman who were discussing their father's dream. Nephi brought up the idea that they could understand it if they asked God about it. They rejected that idea, apparently thinking that God would not tell ordinary people like them anything.

Maybe we shouldn't be arguing about this new revelation. Maybe we shouldn't be looking for ways to prove it did not come from God. Maybe, instead, we should be pondering it, trying to figure it out, and be taking it to God. That's my intention, because I'm more interested in understanding it than in arguing about it.

On Trials and Challenges - part 2

The last post was so dang long that I didn't want to make it longer.

Continuing the idea, though, when the car began to act up, it was difficult to continue believing (not that I was that good at it in the first place - I had simply agreed to do what God had suggested.)

 I was facing my troubles and trials, as I said at the beginning of the last post. It was so painful to come face to face with so many things I could not control and/or feared. This morning, I was lead to read a few pages in The Second Comforter.

Pages 74-75:

How we perceive our challenges determines how we meet them. If we see God as the overriding influence in life's challenges, then we can trust God to help us through them. ... the dilemma is never merely physical. It is always a battle between faith and skepticism. Do you see it as a fight between your own willingness to trust God to deliver you ...?  Does God care about your life's dilemmas? Will He help deliver you from your 'Goliaths?' Do you trust Him? Do you believe in Him? Do you believe He is interested and involved in your life? Will you accept the proof of His involvement as His word to you? Do you feel His proofs are not sufficient or substantial enough to have faith in them?

Faith in a distant and unconcerned God may satisfy some .... But that is not the God Nephi (or David) believed in. In Nephi's example we find a personal God involved in everyday life. We find a God who will give a challenge to us, and then walk beside us to see we succeed. Nephi is trying to teach us this is the way God operates in all of our lives. He is not distant. He is a part of each of our daily lives. We can ignore Him, or acknowledge Him. But whether we accept or reject His involvement, Nephi's view is that He is present and concerned.

If you want to have an audience with God, you must first be willing to see God as someone who does have personal, direct and onging involvement with each of our lives. You must accept Him as someone who cares enough about you that He will help you accomplish His commandments. You must be willing to accept the forms of communication He uses to facilitate this.

This example of Nephi's is not limited to retrieving a book from a hostile cousin. It should apply to any of life's challenges. ... That is how you need to see the challenges you have. No Goliath in your life will destroy you. Rather, God will destroy the Goliaths for you.

In the end, Goliaths are merely opportunities for you to demonstrate your faith. They will be swept away when they no longer serve any purpose. They are there only temporarily to provide you with an opportunity to demonstrate faith.

As I thought on this, pondered on it, it seemed to me that what I was seeing were a) my obstacles (see the questions in the first quoted paragraph) and b) that all of these troubles would evaporate once I had learned to have faith in God. They are only there to teach me to trust God. Once I learn that, they will cease to exist.

That trust, that unconditional trust is what I crave. It is what I am attempting to grasp and incorporate into my being. I hope God is truly long-suffering and patient because it looks, to me, like an exceedingly long road before I can answer any of the questions in the affirmative, let alone have enough trust and faith in him to allow my present tribulations and challenges to evaporate.

On Trials and Challenges

 Challenges

So, I had a challenge that broke me, having to do with my car which I desperately need (it still runs, but has me concerned that it may stop running). It was the proverbial straw.

I was sitting at the computer a few nights ago, reading forums and skype, when I felt the Lord telling me to come talk to him. I procrastinated until too close to bedtime to say much before I slept. But I did talk to him the next morning, extensively.

Last night, I got the same "feeling" and got off the computer much earlier.

(As a side note, recently (before the experience(s) I am currently relating), I prayed all night. I began around 10 or 11 p.m. At one point, said I had to sleep, but felt compelled to continue. When I noticed light coming through the blinds, I checked the time. It was just after 6 a.m. It was difficult to believe that much time had passed.)

The reason I procrastinated talking to him was because I didn't want to face what was tormenting me. I felt I would totally break with reality if I had to look at everything all at once, and I knew that's what I would be doing if I talked to him.

 The car was and is only one of many issues that have been tormenting me. It's easier not to break when you pretend nothing is there.

I looked it all square in the face as I talked to him. I admitted that I did not know how to fix any of it. Like the proverbial child who doesn't know and knows that he doesn't know. That was me.

Do This

A few months ago, I dabbled with the idea of going back to college. Just for fun. Well, I began the process. Somewhere along the line I decided I ought to go for a bachelors degree (I already have an associates degree).

Also, somewhere along the line, I talked to God about it. He told me he wanted me to go. He didn't care what classes I took; he simply wanted me to go and take what I really wanted to take. I wasn't sure what to make of it.

Then I read some words on this post that went into my mind - as if it possibly applied to me. The author was quoting someone else.

Everyone faces the identical challenge.  It seems different only because of our individual strengths and weaknesses.  The challenge is adapted to our own personality, capacity and life's history. Therefore, when you are asked to overcome something, it will fit in the framework of your life.

All are asked to make a sacrifice that shows they will not withhold anything from the Lord.  It will come to each person based on what they value and would regret to their core surrendering.  Whatever that is, you will be asked by the Lord to give it to Him.  You must decide to do that when asked.

All are asked to do something that they view as wrong, evil or inappropriate and will seem to be inconsistent with the Lord's mercy, righteousness and perfection.  The request will unmistakably come from Him.  You cannot evade the request because you doubt He is asking.  You will clearly know it is Him who asks, and that to all your understanding it will be wrong to do.  You must do it anyway.

All are asked to take a step in faith beyond where they are at the time.  Trust in Him, and only Him, as you take that step.  You will be certain that if it were something you were undertaking on your own, it could not be accomplished.  But because you are doing as He has asked, you know you will have the strength or support to do as He bids.

I could not see how it could fit what the Lord had asked me (college). I went through the points with God to see what was really being said:

First: “The challenge is adapted to our own personality, capacity and life's history. Therefore, when you are asked to overcome something, it will fit in the framework of your life.”

Second: “You will not withhold anything from the Lord. It is something you will regret to your core surrendering.” I know of nothing that would fit this. I have lost so much in the last 20-30 years, that anything else I lose would probably freak me out or give me a nervous breakdown, but I cannot see how I could not stop it from happening.

Third: “Whatever that is, you will be asked by the Lord to give it to Him. You must decide to do that when asked.”

Fourth: “All are asked to do something that they view as wrong, evil or inappropriate and will seem to be inconsistent with the Lord's mercy, righteousness and perfection.”

Fifth: “The request will unmistakably come from Him. You cannot evade the request because you doubt He is asking.”

And, sixth: “All are asked to take a step in faith beyond where they are at the time.  Trust in Him, and only Him, as you take that step. You will be certain that if it were something you were undertaking on your own, it could not be accomplished.”

1st: Well, it is certainly adapted to my personality, capacity, and life's history.

2nd, I've already commented on.

3rd: He did ask and I did say yes and am in the process of doing that.

4th: Here, I balked. "Lord, you know this is not evil or bad or wrong. It isn't against any scriptural law that I know of."

"Look at it closely," he said, "and tell me what you think of you doing this."

I looked at it, and I said, "Of course, it's wrong for me to go to college. Of course, it's a sin for me to pursue subjects that I have wanted to learn from my core since I was a child, because I'm not supposed to have what I want. I'm not supposed to do what I love. It's a sin - but for me, not for anyone else."

And as I kept attempting to explain, I saw that I was going in a frustrated circle. He was right. My core self believes it is the height of evil for me to do anything I would like, anything that would bring me joy and fulfillment. It's okay for others to pursue lives and careers that speak to their souls, but not for me.

We finally settled on agreeing to disagree because I was confusing myself.

5th: Even though it was quiet, even though it was simple, I was absolutely sure I was talking to the Lord.

6th: Absolutely, I could not accomplish this on my own. Not only financially (tuition, fees, books, rent and other bills, and so on), but the thing, itself. As I faced the thing square on, I saw insecurities about failing.

I finally saw that what I was supposed to do is simply give it my best, as I enjoyed it. Enjoy the journey. ("Who is this, really? God is supposed to make us do all sorts of painful sacrifices. He's supposed to make us miserable, even unto death, because that's what this life is for: suffering and sacrifice and pain.")

Knowing who the Lord Really Is

So, I was talking to him about this. Talking about the sacrifices, the ones that hurt, the ones that Brother Snuffer and others talk about.

He said to me, "I'm not going to do that to you yet. First, you have to know me enough to trust me. After you know me, then I can ask you to do other things. For now, we are working on you knowing who I really am and trusting me."

The understanding that accompanied that was seeing that I did not know his personality. I did not know him as a friend or a father. This needed to come first. And, as I recall, this message that I needed to learn to trust him, needed to learn to see and feel and believe his love for me came after the thing I wrote below.

#

That's the end of the post. However, below, I'm going to relate our conversation about point 4 in more detail for those who may be interested (I wrote it down soon afterward and this is a quote from what I wrote). Feel absolutely free to ignore it. [Brackets are my current insertions.]

The bit about God wanting you to do something "wrong" - well, I can't believe it but every time I don't, I'm immediately faced with my own deep conviction that - for me - it is wrong, it is a huge sin.

And I wondered why God would choose such a strange sacrifice for me. And I thought maybe God was using it to cause me to further trust him for food and such. And to trust him in general. And it was brought to my mind the time I did testing at workforce (in St. George - when my kids were ages 5/6, 8 & 10). the lady who told me my test results apologized that the IQ test only went to 126. I had surpassed that. They couldn't measure what it really was (one I'd taken a few years earlier averaged me at 144 - with the "logic" aspect being something like 168). [Note: I could have inflated that. It could have been 142 and 162 or 164.] She had noticed that I had finished the sections before others in the room (which would add points). She told me I could be anything, even a medical doctor. That experience is what came to my mind as I doubted my ability to take the languages. And I wondered why God would encourage me in such a secular thing. [The classes I signed up for are Chinese, French, and Spanish, as far as languages go.]

Isn't my job here to suffer, be miserable, never get what I really want? That's about the time the thought of "In contraries is truth made manifest" [came].

I mean, if I['m] going to go through the crap and emerge on the other side safe and whole, then there's got to be the possibility that the other side exists, right?

And, it's such a personal journey.

But I find myself suspicious. "Are you sure this is God? The devil is the one who tells us to do things we like," etc - etc.

So, you believe the devil gives you good things and I give you bad? was the gist of the reply.

And I have to admit that the answer is yes. I have learned exactly that. God gives homelessness, fear, hunger, poverty, pain, persecution, blocks any chance of having a creative outlet or doing what one loves.

It is the devil who says you should follow your dreams and desires, pursue your interests, who offers to you to never go hungry and so forth. (Not that he always delivers.)

Isn't that backwards, the "voice" [in my mind -not actually audible words] asks gently. Why would God/I give you talents and abilities only to have you sacrifice them?

Because you're a God who requires sacrifice of everything we like, of everything that makes us comfortable (food, clothing, house, safety, etc.).

True, but haven't you been doing that all along? Haven't you been suffering your whole life? Don't you think it's finally time you rested from that and learned what your soul craves (French, for example), and finally opened up to letting me provide abundantly for you - so much so that you can help others?

Me: This is really the devil I'm talking to, isn't it? Only the devil would pretend to offer me food ... [etc.].

So, you think that if you ask me bread, I'll give you a stone?

No, I think that when I have asked you for bread in the past, you have given me poison. When I've asked for a fish, you've given me worse than a fiery, poisonous serpent.

It isn't what I'd want to say to a God, but I must be honest in my perception of you.

Then why follow me? Why seek me out?

Because it's in my soul to do so. It is in my nature to  [pause] - oh.

(Smiles) [Meaning he smiled]

In my soul to seek you. In my soul to learn languages. In my soul to heal. In my soul to live with the earth, in nature, in "my" home.

I'm confused now.

You were always confused, my dear. How about you do an experiment? (I love experiments - behavioral ones, especially ...)

Just for this school year, you trust me. Maybe for two school years and one summer. You do what I say, which is to do this great "sin" of going after your dream of being a linguist - Let go and go for it.

Just for these next two years, assume (the real meaning, not the ass meaning) that I'm there for you, that I will provide for you and protect you. Sins, all, in your estimation. Do that for me, okay? (okay?)

That's a strange sacrifice you're asking of me.

It's a strange set of beliefs you carry.

Me, again: Okay. It makes no sense to me why you should ask me to do this "sin" which is only a sin to/for me. This whole thing is weird - But, okay, for you I'll do it.

[Turning attention heavenward] And, dear God, the Real God of heaven and earth, if I've been talking to the devil this whole time, please step in. I don't want to be happy if you want me miserable. I don't want to be well-nourished and in a home/land that nourishe[s] both  body and soul if you want me to be hungry, under-nourished, and either homeless or living away from nature.

God: Sigh

. . . 

So there you have it. I'm breaking out of a cycle - A cycle of misery and woe and hunger and homelessness and attracting predators and not learning/doing what is in my soul to do.

My "sacrifice" is to let God pull me out of hell and protect me and let me (make the way for me to) do what is in my soul to do.

What will happen? I'm sure I do not know. If the past indicates the future, I'll give up. I'll pull out. I'll continue the cycle of lack and misery.

The reason I post this personal stuff is because there may be another "loser" out there whose life seems to have given them the same message. Perhaps God wants to pull you out of misery if you could only learn to trust him.

If there is someone like that who reads this, I hope for your sake that I succeed - so that you can see that you, also, can succeed.

On True Messengers

I read a post today on a forum I go to probably far too often. There was a note of sadness in it. There was a feeling of, "This is serious stuff. I've made my choice, and the choosing was not easy."

I feel the need to post my reply here, as well as on that thread:

I feel your pain, MegaManToo. It is a rough road. A painful thing. Any who are aware of what Denver teaches seems to be put in a position of choosing, of discerning if he is a liar and a charlatan or if he is bona fide.

One thing that is certain is that if Denver is a liar (about seeing the Lord, and about saying what the Lord wants Him to say), he certainly should be ignored and he will surely be damned to hell.

If, however, he is telling the truth, it behooves us to know that, even if what he says is painful.

Pruning out false beliefs can be excruciatingly painful. Attempting to discern who is telling the truth can be frustrating or confusing.

Following our trusted traditions is probably what most will do who hear of Denver. Doing otherwise puts a person in peril of their standing in the church. It may create cognitive dissonance. It most surely will put us at odds with family, friends, and our wards and stakes. It will, no doubt, lead to the sacrifice of all things.

PtHG was a painful book, but Denver makes very little in the way of damning comment (if any). Mostly, he quotes from original sources. His conclusions, as I understood them, were that Christ's hand was still over the church, that the Gentiles were (and have been since BY's time) fulfilling what was said and prophesied in the Book of Mormon.

But if Denver was/is a true prophet, a true messenger, what will happen to those who have figuratively "shot the messenger"? Is Christ's hand still over the Church in that case? Or just over the church (the humble followers who seek Him still, who do not know there is a true messenger around)?

If "by mine own voice or the voice of my servants, it is the same" is true and Denver is a true messenger boy, is it not a serious and grave thing to have cast him out?

All of this is serious. Dead serious. Not that Denver is important in and of himself. He is not. It is the message. The message offends. It divides. It causes anguish of spirit. It creates "bad feelings" (remember Laman and Lemuel? They had bad feelings about what Nephi taught them, also).

And if Denver is lying. If he is a messenger from the devil, from darkness, he ought to be ignored. He ought to be cast out.

Our eternal salvation lies in the balance when it comes to anyone professing to have a message from our Lord. We ought to take it seriously, just like your post above mine did. I can tell that you feel the import, the weight of knowing if he is a liar or not.

End of my post.

Is it not true that we have eternal decisions to make here? Is it not true that Christ said he came to divide? To bring a sword? Is it not true that He will require the sacrifice of all things? Is it not true that most true messengers where not men in authority, but ordinary men outside of established hierarchies?

Discerning true messengers from false ones is vital to the next plane of existence. From my understanding it changes our projectory for the rest of eternity.

So, how do we do it when it is so painful? How do we know we are not following a "Harmston" or a "Jeffs" or "Korihor"?

I would submit this:

Study scriptures.
The Book of Mormon was one long run-on sentence when it was given to the printer. E.B. Grandin's assistant was saddled with the task of typesetting the book. He had no idea where God wanted the punctuation, but he had to do something. And he did the best he could.

Putting a colon after "these are the words of my father" when it was obvious that the words of the father preceded that sentence is one example of where he didn't quite get it right. But he made the text make a whole lot more sense than it would have otherwise.

So, I would recommend reading the book with the understanding that the punctuation may be different than what you see there.

Who are the Gentiles? 
I suggest reading the book as if you, the reader are a Gentile because, in most cases, it is true. If you have been told that you are of Ephraim in a patriarchal blessing, remember that Isaiah (and it is quoted in the Book of Mormon) prophesied that "Ephraim will be broken that it be not a people" (see Isaiah 7:8 and 2 Nephi 17:8). That would explain why we can be both.

Pride, knowledge, and all that stuff.
I would recommend putting away all that you think you know. Read the book, and pray, as if you were brand new to it all. Put away all you have been taught. Trust that the Lord loves you and would not lead you away into darkness and hell if are are humble and sincere. Be humble enough and brave enough to recognize that it is possible that you don't know it all.

Warm fuzzies versus "bad feelings"
If we read something or hear something and get a "bad feeling" - maybe anger, maybe shock or discombobulation, maybe fear, maybe revulsion - it might be useful to search for the root of that.

Contrary to what we are taught, the Spirit does not give us warm fuzzies if something is from God and "bad feelings" if it is from the devil. A whole lot of people didn't have warm fuzzies when Jesus was preaching - or Stephen (remember him? He was the guy who was stoned while Saul held the coats of those who were doing the murder) - or Abinadi - or Nephi - or Lehi - or Isaiah - or Noah - and on and on we could go.

Joseph Smith said that the Spirit communicated with us by giving us pure knowledge. That is not the same as warm fuzzies or feelings of darkness, as far as I can tell. Those nice feelings and bad feelings are telling us something. It may or may not be what we think.

Prayer, prayer, and more prayer
I would suggest being honest as well as humbling oneself to the dirt. "This scares the hell out of me. Help me understand what's true," is actually an appropriate prayer if you're really feeling that way.

God said He would send a great division among the people. Well, He has done it and is still doing it. There is a tremendous division in regards to what truth might be. And the division seems to be splitting along the lines of "follow the brethren/prophet, they/he can never lead you astray" (this fits all the offshoots from Joseph's day) versus, follow Christ only. If you follow a man, you will be damned because men are not perfect, no matter how true of a prophet they may be.

And the crack, as it enlarges, includes those who are not pleased with the LDS Church building malls, owning thousands upon thousands of acres of lands, leaders driving nice cars and getting great perks, mission presidents having a pretty dang high standard of living, among other things.

The time is shortening for those who are part of the restored church. Truly, the Lord has set His hand a second time to give us a second chance after blowing it in regards to building the Nauvoo temple and encouraging a prophet of God to go to his death (haranguing him into destroying a printing press that he knew would cause his demise, then guilting him into turning himself over to those who would end up killing him).

Whatever you decide, whoever you decide to give heed to, I would recommend serious and ponderous thought. And I wish you well. I pray for you. Not that you will believe as I do, but that God will lead you in the paths of righteousness, and that you will be found at the last day to be on the right hand of the Father.

God's Handiwork

This post has three titles:

God's Plan for Us

God's Handiwork

Has God Abandoned Me?

So, I've been having a rough time. We all have, no doubt. The circumstances I'm in have seemed unbearable for about a year and a half, now. Recently, my spiritual quests seemed fruitless. I seemed to be “seeing” and “hearing” heaven less than I did a couple of years ago, even though my quest was to follow Joseph Smith Jr.'s admonition to seek the face of Christ (it is in scripture as well).

I was at an impasse both physically and spiritually. It seemed worthless to try. The trials of my life were more than I could bear. Heaven seemed too quiet most of the time (whereas, in the past, I've had dreams from heaven, been able to tell the future, and had other gifts of the Spirit).

As a Christmas present, a friend gave me the recording “The Lost Mode of Prayer” by Gregg Braden which was very helpful. She also gave me the book, “The Secret” which was also helpful. But, in spite of trying to implement these things (basically, living in your mind, as if you had what you want), I found myself once again discouraged by my spiritual and physical circumstances.

Last Tuesday morning, I “heard” a voice in my mind and heart that told me, in essence, “This is almost over,” meaning my trials. I did not write down the exact words at the time I heard it, and I regret that - but the words were that this is almost over, meaning what I have been going through this time around. I am about to get relief.

That day, I went to a forum that I frequently go to. I expressed the following sentiment (it is a private forum, but I am quoting myself, so I hope that does not bother anyone who might be from there who is reading this):

“I have asked myself this [referring to me not seeing angels orthe Lord, outside of dreams] many a time, and cannot find an answer. I do know that I have had many spiritual experiences, before I read any of [Denver Snuffer's] books, but cannot get into the realm of "more real than real" that visions are said to be. Sometimes I have faith that it will happen to me; other times, I seriously wonder if what I have been taught is true - or if, maybe, there is something inherently wrong with me. But, when I begin to think I must be hopelessly evil, I remember some of the experiences I've had and am left to wonder - It isn't something that is easy to see and understand and have, in my experience.”

I received these scriptures in reply (I am quoting from my own notes, not from the forum). The references were not given, but I know the scriptures well enough to know they came from the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants.

- And ye may know that the words of the Lord, which have been spoken by the holy prophets, shall all be fulfilled; and ye need not say that the Lord delays his coming unto the children of Israel.

And ye need not imagine in your hearts that the words which have been spoken are vain, for behold, the Lord will remember his covenant which he hath made unto his people of the house of Israel.

- And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you;

And inasmuch as you have humbled yourselves before me, the blessings of the kingdom are yours.

Gird up your loins and be watchful and be sober, looking forth for the coming of the Son of Man, for he cometh in an hour you think not.

Pray always that you enter not into temptation, that you may abide the day of his coming, whether in life or in death. Even so. Amen.

- And the Lord said unto him: Believest thou the words which I shall speak?

And he answered: Yea, Lord, I know that thou speakest the truth, for thou art a God of truth, and canst not lie.

- But he that believeth these things which I have spoken, him will I visit with the manifestations of my Spirit, and he shall know and bear record. For because of my Spirit he shall know that these things are true; for it persuadeth men to do good.

And whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do good is of me; for good cometh of none save it be of me. I am the same that leadeth men to all good; he that will not believe my words will not believe me—that I am; and he that will not believe me will not believe the Father who sent me. For behold, I am the Father, I am the light, and the life, and the truth of the world.

Come unto me, O ye Gentiles, and I will show unto you the greater things, the knowledge which is hid up because of unbelief.

- Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God.

It struck me that “in an hour ye think not” applied to the promise in D&C 93:1

Verily, thus saith the Lord: It shall come to pass that every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name, and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am;

(Doctrine and Covenants 93:1)

All of the scriptures affected me most powerfully. They helped tremendously in my concerns about receiving angels and the Second Comforter.

But, yesterday morning, as I was going to pray, it seemed less than useless. I had forgotten the words of comfort given to me Tuesday morning. The trials of life were crushing me. God seemed absent. There was no reason to pray. God was not hearing me. That was pretty dang obvious. My environmental/physical/earthly problems were still there (and worse, because a critter that is either a skunk or a badger has been rattling around in our home, bumping around inside the heating ducts (the furnace doesn't work, so we don't use it. If it has holes in it big enough for an animal like that to get in, I'm glad we aren't using it) and even coming inside bumping around under my daughter's bed).

It was worse than useless to pray. It was actually painful to pray. I prayed anyway. (I don't know how I managed it.) And I decided to fast. So worthless to fast, and I almost didn't, but I did it anyway.

These scriptures come to mind:

29 And there was also written upon them a new writing, which was plain to be read, which did give us understanding concerning the ways of the Lord; and it was written and changed from time to time, according to the faith and diligence which we gave unto it. And thus we see that by small means the Lord can bring about great things.

(Book of Mormon | 1 Nephi 16:29)

----------------

6 Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.

(Book of Mormon | Alma 37:6)

We will see if anything “great” comes as a result. Nevertheless, here are the results thus far:

At church, during sacrament meeting, the talks were nothing out of the ordinary until the last speaker. He said that when one has a problem, when one is about to succumb (not succumb to sin, but to the problem) one naturally turns to heaven. Then the devil steps in with his lies. The speaker seemed to be directing his words to men, because he was mentioning giving blessings, and the policy is that only men do that. In any case, his words hit hard. The devil steps in, but don't let the devil deter you, he said. “You give that blessing. You say that prayer.” Those words fit the tremendous and painful struggle I'd had that morning to even pray.

The man was unpolished in his speaking. No religious “politician” was he. And the curious thing was that after he said this, he told us his talk was about time management (from a general conference talk) and totally went off in a different direction. I was left to wonder if a humble man hadn't listened to God telling him what to say at the beginning of his sermon.

Sunday School was about Joseph Smith, Jr. I almost didn't go because I weary of hearing ad nauseum about how Joseph obeyed the Word of Wisdom when there was no such thing at that time. (And the fact that Joseph drank a little wine on occasion, even not long before he died, is something most of us don't know.) But I went anyway.

And I got another message. When the devil accosted Joseph in his prayer, Joseph did not give up. He “prayed harder”. It was interesting to see two things that addressed what I had struggled with that morning.

After church, I felt a little more on an even keel. When I had left for church, my daughter had been in the process of cleaning the house in order to keep the invading critter at bay (we had talked about finding out where it had entered the room she was sleeping in. She had seen it. In fact, after she had awakened me, and I had accompanied her down the hall, she had seen it again, peering at her from under the kitchen table. But some minutes later, we heard it bumping along the heating vents under the trailer again. We were not sure how it had done that, considering the layout of the place). I came home to find the living room a lot cleaner and in the process of being rearranged.

Later that day, I went to the site where my friend had posted the scriptures for me. After perusing for a while, I noticed he had posted a link to a video (God's Chisel) in a different thread, so I clicked on it. I shared the video on the Speak of Christ blog, but here is the link. I cannot imbed it on blogspot because it is not a YouTube video, nor is it on my computer.

It is a cute skit about how God is working in our lives. Just as when I read the scriptures that had been posted for me, I was in tears as the skit went on. And I am led to believe that the first angels God sends to us are imperfect fellow mortals.

Whereas, before, I had thought and felt that God did not care, that He was uninvolved in the trials and struggles of my life, I saw through this skit that it was possible that He was very involved in my life, and is in the process of making me into something better. I saw that my trials just might have a purpose, that they might truly be specifically tailored to my spiritual needs, and that it just might be true that “this is almost over,” because God is the one in charge.

It makes a difference when one can see one's pains in light of God's hand, and in light of “this will not last forever. There is and will be an end to this suffering.”

And I post all of this in the hopes of helping to relieve the suffering of someone else.

Whether a loved one has been murdered, whether you have lost your job, whether you have been made a mockery by your fellow beings, whether you fear for any reason whatsoever, whether you are hungry or homeless or nearly naked, God is there. God has not forgotten you. God cares about you. God is performing a work in your life. I promise you this. In some way, unfathomable to me, hell in this life can be for our benefit.

Your deceased loved one is safe. S/he is wrapped in the arms of Jesus. Quite possibly, they have come to you to communicate that they are okay. Perhaps you have heard this and, because of this conviction, you are more calm and peaceful than others can understand is possible.

Your lost job will turn to your benefit. Your hunger will turn to your benefit. Your lack of clothing and your homelessness will turn to your benefit. And if anyone was told by God to help you, but they didn't listen, it will turn back on them. This may seem harsh, because often the Spirit speaks so quietly, but I have learned that life is harsh - and the consequences of sins, even what we deem to be small sins, have hard and painful consequences. And, sometimes, what we deem as sins are not sins at all (body piercings, and not wearing a white shirt to church come to mind, as well as a man wearing a full beard).

It would best serve us to remove the voices that are not from God, whether they come from music, movies, games, negative thoughts, other people, or mindless pursuits. It is vital that we are open to God's voice, that we are used to hearing it. Then, if we have the ability to comfort those in need of comfort, to clothe the naked, to house the homeless, to feed the hungry we will know that God intends for us to do that, and He will show us who we should help.

If you are mocked, the mockery will turn onto the heads of those who mock, and they will mourn. This saddens my heart that anyone would suffer, but it is nonetheless true. You will be vindicated. If they repent, so much the better, but you will be vindicated. This, I promise you.

God is in charge of this world, even though it often does not seem that way. He cares. He loves you. We cannot always see that. If your stomach grumbles because you're hungry. If your breakfasts and lunches of the last several days have consisted of eating dirt (diatomaceous earth is nutritious by the way. I used the word “dirt” for its shock value - and yes, I have been there - very recently, in fact) - if you have suffered in ways that are genuinely painful and/or even dangerous to your mortality, know that God is there. Always.

God is not dependent upon ourperceptions of His existence. He is not dependent upon ourperceptions of His presence. He is not dependent upon ourunderstanding of whether He cares or loves us. If you get nothing else out of this post, please take this with you: God cares.He loves you. He is working to remove the sins and impurities within your souls.

The destructions that are escalating are allowed so that they will bring us to our knees. They are not caused by the secret combinations, though secret combinations may be involved as a tool of God.

All of the destructions and pain we see today, both those caused by nature and caused by people, are there to wake us up. They are there to call us back to God. We are in great need of repentance as a country and as a planet. Let us heed the call to repentance. Let us turn to God with all our hearts and souls, even if it seems He has abandoned us. I assure you that He has not.

Righteousness

Restored post

Sunday, July 31, 2011

I had a friend ask me today whether I thought priesthood is always attached to an institution, and what I thought the definition of righteousness was. I decided to share my answer here.

I don't know that the priesthood is always attached to an institution. I think it often becomes an institution, though. The gospel requires a few things:

*authority to perform ordinances (i.e. priesthood authority)

*actually performing the ordinances

*places to perform the ordinances

*people meeting together often to

*partake of the Lord's supper (to renew covenants)

*uplift each other

*worship God

*places for the people to meet

The people are to have a specific lifestyle, such as

*sharing one another's burdens

*helping the poor

*not reviling against revilers

*praying for those who harm or try to harm them and/or their loved ones

*being honest and kind

*it would appear that eating mostly plants is part of it

*praying often to God

*humility, meekness, charity, et al

I would think that righteousness is a frame of mind, or perhaps I should say a state of being that is framed (as a picture is framed) by humility, faith, and love/charity.

We cannot be righteous (or at least it is very difficult to be so) if we think we know more than God, if we are deriding our fellowmen, if we think we are better than others, if we are not open to the fact that we don't know everything, etc. I would classify that under humility.

Could we really be righteous without believing/having faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ, not only for ourselves but for others? This reminds me of an experience I had a few days ago.

As I was praying, I began praying about all of those who had hurt me in my life - from perverts to peers to siblings. As I prayed, my mind and heart opened up and I wanted with all of my heart and mind for them to be forgiven. As that happened, I saw very clearly that if I refused to condemn them, the Atonement cleared them, and it was as if they had never done anything to hurt me. The up side of that was, not only their salvation, but that it had never been done to me. The whole thing, the whole experience was (or could be) wiped clean - as if I had never been wounded and as if they had never hurt anyone. It was an awesome thing to witness, to see. A complete wiping away of the whole experience. And I saw that, in this way, each person is pulled away from Satan, who thinks he owns us.

I think what I saw was the full effects of humility, faith, and love as one person forgives. Multiply that by a billion, and you've got Satan losing, wholesale. Even a million people with that experience, ongoing, would put a serious dent into his plan to capture and enslave all of us. I rather like the idea of erasing other people's sins. Of course, being healed from the wounds is pretty enticing, as well.