Vanity and Pride

Vanity, pride, looking beyond the mark, self-will, arrogance, and reckless enthusiasm all proceed from a lack of gratitude to God for what He gives us. Instead of accepting in gratitude and practicing it with patience, we demand more, insist we can improve on His ways, and charge ahead into the pass to be destroyed by the beast.

That was from this post. (Emphasis added.)

Lately, I have felt stuck. Why am I not receiving what was promised?

I was told a few weeks ago by the Spirit that God put me (in July) where I could learn to be more like Christ. The analogy of the young man learning to create a net came to mind. I accepted it then.

But, surely, it is now time to move on - to do something more, to receive angels face to face in waking life.

I prayed, begged, cried for something better. I resisted the idea that I was doing what I should be doing. It was getting old. It was getting boring. (I've done it since the day after the July lecture in St. George.) Many times it is difficult and painful. I had (and have) dreams I would like to accomplish, interests I would love to pursue. I don't want to wait until summer or later to have my life change into what I have wanted it to be for many years.

Serving where I am serving is not really all that fun and pleasant for me. I find myself wishing or daydreaming of having work that pays better by the hour, work that I enjoy immensely, work that allows me to go home after eight or ten hours so I can get a good night's sleep each night.

I sensed that I was not quite doing something right. I begged God to tell me what it was.

Then I read the post I linked to above.

And I read: "Vanity. Pride. Self-will. Arrogance. This shows you are not being grateful to God for what He has given to you."

I read: "You demand more. You insist you can improve on His ways. You are guilty of not practicing patience. And you are guilty of ingratitude."

Now, others may read something else when they read this post. A commenter on In 200 words or less said this about the post I linked to above:

Maybe you should . . . not rely upon hearsay or rely upon the arm of flesh - Denver. This is what concerns me is so many waiting upon every word coming forth from Denver and not waiting upon the Lord. Do you think maybe God is testing us all to see if we just jump from the worship of LDS leadership to the worship of Denver? Maybe those millions of people who really adore Jesus and are of other faiths, go to Jesus directly and not through another arm of flesh. They rely upon Jesus' grace. wherein Denver talks about the works and the law again ... the same old Aaronic order of things. Why in the heck should we preserve the restoration when God has something so much better to give to us if we only go to Him? If you all keep looking to Denver for your mentoring and knowledge, the Lord will withhold revelations that you could have yourself. Denver did a great job calling us all to repentance ...but it is time to move on and put way the Law of Moses (Aaronic) and find Jesus at the mountain. As long as you are looking to Denver as your leader the Lord will not take you from the bottom of the mountain to the top ... Denver is our test ... are you ready to graduate or not?

To me, this sounds like exactly what the post I linked to at the beginning warns against. "Let's rush into the pass. We are not in Old Testament times. Let's stop relying on Denver and move forward!"

For me, Denver's post was a direct answer to my many cries to the Lord, begging for help and understanding. I don't care what person it came through, it is the word of the Lord. It was a wake-up call to me.

My prayers will change and I hope I will continue as I now profess. I hope and intend to pray in gratitude - for this opportunity to become Christlike and patient, for the place in which I live, for the incredible blessings and miracles that have brought me to this point.

I have been guilty of ingratitude. I apologize to the Lord for that. I have thought I could press forward when I have not yet learned what He told me He intended to teach me this year. This year, as in a twelve month period, not as in for a few months until I get tired of it.